SNL Transcripts: Sean Hayes: 02/17/01

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 26: Episode 12

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


February 17th, 2001

Sean Hayes



Michael Schur
A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: President George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) announces that he performed a strike on Iraq as a personal favor to keep former President Clinton’s scandal out of the news.

Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.



Sean Hayes’ MonologueSummary: Sean Hayes plays a grade school piece on the piano while signing autographs from the audience and taking a cell phone call from a friend.


Delicious DishSummary: Margaret Jo McCullin (Ana Gasteyer) and Teri Rialto (Molly Shannon) envision a psychadelic high after sampling mushrooms from guest Alfie Thuman (Sean Hayes).

Recurring Characters: Margaret Jo McCullin, Teri Rialto.


HomocilSummary: The pill that helps parents cope with their children’s homosexuality.


HardballSummary: Paul Begala (Chris Kattan) suffers abuse from Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond).

Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Paul Begala.


Jeffrey’sSummary: A pair of trendy clothing store employees (Jimmy Fallon, Sean Hayes) mock the clothing styles of would-be customers.

Recurring Characters: Clerk, Supervisor, Burly Customer.

Note: This sketch is replaced with its dress rehearsal version in repeats because of the frequent character-breaking and laughter by the actors involved.


Shaggy performs “It Wasn’t Me”

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Jamie Bell (Sean Hayes), the kid From “Billy Elliot”, is pissed that he wasn’t nominated for an Academy Award, then dances his way through the studio.


Hello DollySummary: More cute yet bizarre-looking dolls are up for adoption.

Recurring Characters: Deana Nolan-Gray.


Fashion Week 2001Summary: Adrian Dante’s (Sean Hayes) fashion show is interrupted by would-be diva, Sally O’Malley (Molly Shannon).

Recurring Characters: Sally o’Malley.


Shaggy performs “Angel”

Action News 4 Morning ReportSummary: Hilarity ensues when a tractor-trailer hits a tiny clown car!


Last Show!Summary: Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon) sings “School’s Out” to commemorate Molly Shannon’s last show.

Recurring Characters: Mary Katherine Gallagher.


Brian Fellow’s Safari PlanetSummary: Brian Fellow (Tracy Morgan) lives in a world that exists inside his own head.

Recurring Characters: Brian Fellow.


Corn Chip Nail TipsSummary: The tasty snack food of choice for nail biters.

Note: Repeat from 10/07/00.

Talkin’ ‘Bout ‘GinasSummary: Second-rate female celebrities attempt to feed from the success of “The Vagina Monologues.”

Recurring Characters: Joan Rivers, Anna Nicole Smith, Farrah Fawcett, Gayle King



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