SNL Transcripts: Sean Hayes: 02/17/01


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 26: Episode 12

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


February 17th, 2001

Sean Hayes



Michael Schur
A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: President George W. Bush (Will Ferrell) announces that he performed a strike on Iraq as a personal favor to keep former President Clinton’s scandal out of the news.

Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.



Sean Hayes’ MonologueSummary: Sean Hayes plays a grade school piece on the piano while signing autographs from the audience and taking a cell phone call from a friend.


Delicious DishSummary: Margaret Jo McCullin (Ana Gasteyer) and Teri Rialto (Molly Shannon) envision a psychadelic high after sampling mushrooms from guest Alfie Thuman (Sean Hayes).

Recurring Characters: Margaret Jo McCullin, Teri Rialto.


HomocilSummary: The pill that helps parents cope with their children’s homosexuality.


HardballSummary: Paul Begala (Chris Kattan) suffers abuse from Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond).

Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Paul Begala.


Jeffrey’sSummary: A pair of trendy clothing store employees (Jimmy Fallon, Sean Hayes) mock the clothing styles of would-be customers.

Recurring Characters: Clerk, Supervisor, Burly Customer.

Note: This sketch is replaced with its dress rehearsal version in repeats because of the frequent character-breaking and laughter by the actors involved.


Shaggy performs “It Wasn’t Me”

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Jamie Bell (Sean Hayes), the kid From “Billy Elliot”, is pissed that he wasn’t nominated for an Academy Award, then dances his way through the studio.


Hello DollySummary: More cute yet bizarre-looking dolls are up for adoption.

Recurring Characters: Deana Nolan-Gray.


Fashion Week 2001Summary: Adrian Dante’s (Sean Hayes) fashion show is interrupted by would-be diva, Sally O’Malley (Molly Shannon).

Recurring Characters: Sally o’Malley.


Shaggy performs “Angel”

Action News 4 Morning ReportSummary: Hilarity ensues when a tractor-trailer hits a tiny clown car!


Last Show!Summary: Mary Katherine Gallagher (Molly Shannon) sings “School’s Out” to commemorate Molly Shannon’s last show.

Recurring Characters: Mary Katherine Gallagher.


Brian Fellow’s Safari PlanetSummary: Brian Fellow (Tracy Morgan) lives in a world that exists inside his own head.

Recurring Characters: Brian Fellow.


Corn Chip Nail TipsSummary: The tasty snack food of choice for nail biters.

Note: Repeat from 10/07/00.

Talkin’ ‘Bout ‘GinasSummary: Second-rate female celebrities attempt to feed from the success of “The Vagina Monologues.”

Recurring Characters: Joan Rivers, Anna Nicole Smith, Farrah Fawcett, Gayle King



SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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