Julia Stiles’ Monologue


Julia Stiles’ Monologue

…..Julia Stiles
…..Tracy Morgan

Julia Stiles: It is great to be here hosting “Saturday Night Live”. This is actually the 500th original episode of the show.

Tracy Morgan: [ walks onstage ] Hey-ey, Julia! Julia, I saw you in that movie!

Julia Stiles: Oh.. you mean, “Save The Last Dance”?

Tracy Morgan: Yeah! I thought you were wonderful in it.

Julia Stiles: Wow, Tracy, thanks!

Tracy Morgan: And the scene where you kissed that black dude? It was such a tender moment, man, I thought I was gonna cry.

Julia Stiles: That’s real nice.. that’s real nice..

Tracy Morgan: Yeah. So, after the show, I was thinking, if you hungry, we can go over to Twin Donuts, or we can just go over to your place.

Julia Stiles: Aren’t you married?

Tracy Morgan: Yeah. That’s why I said your place. [ looks at audience ] Hey, what are you people staring at! I don’t know what century y’all livin’ in, but a black man gettin’ together wit’ a white lady – this ain’t no show!

Julia Stiles: Tracy, this is a show. That’s the audience. They’re supposed to be staring at you.

Tracy Morgan: [ laughs ] That’s funny! Now, like I was sayin’.. I saw you makin’ out wit’ that black dude, and I just said, “Man, I got to git wit’ you, girl!”

Julia Stiles: Tracy, I was acting. It was a movie.

Tracy Morgan: Whoa, wait a minute! nobody can act that good, Boo! You know what people say: “Once you go black, you don’t never go back!”

Julia Stiles: Come on, Tracy, you’re smarter than that.

Tracy Morgan: No, I’m not! [ singing ] “You got jungle fever! You got jungle fever!”

Julia Stiles: Tracy.. “Jungle Fever”? That’s a horrible stereotype.

Tracy Morgan: I don’t mind that – or the one about us having long dongs.

Julia Stiles: Okay. That’s enough.

Tracy Morgan: [ sullen ] I guess you’re right. I’m sorry, and I hope you can forgive me. And I hope you save the last dance for me! [ to the band ] Hit it, Lenny! [ starts dancing ]

Julia Stiles: Okay, what are you doing?

Tracy Morgan: I’m gettin’ my dance on! I bet that guy Derek King do it like that, right?

Julia Stiles: Stop. This is never gonna work. I am a 19-year-old college student, and you are a 35-year-old man with five kids.

Tracy Morgan: Aaaaannndd?

Julia Stiles: My parents are watching. [ whispers ] I’ll meet you at Twin Donuts after the show..

Tracy Morgan: [ laughs ] I got it! Hit it, Lenny!

[ they dance together ]

Julia Stiles: We have a great show tonight, Aerosmith is here. So stick around, we’ll be right back!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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