A Message from the President of the United States
President George W. Bush…..Will Ferrell
Jenna Bush….Julia Stiles
President George W. Bush: I’m the President of the United States and I need a straight answer. Am I going to get the spy plane back? (Shakes magic 8 ball) “Ask again later!” You always do this to me, dammit! I’m the President!
President George W. Bush: Yeah, what is it, Janet?
Voice of Janet: Sir, your daughter Jenna is here.
President George W. Bush: Send her in.
(Jenna Bush enters)
Jenna Bush: Hi Daddy!
President George W. Bush: Hey sweetie. (they hug) How are you doing? I was just attending to some very important foreign policy business. Now what’s this I hear about you getting in trouble down in Austin?
Jenna Bush: Oh, that, it was nothing. I was just hanging out at a bar with some friends and I got a ticket for underage drinking.
President George W. Bush: Now I am very disappointed in you. I got a lot of things to be thinking about with my new job. Heck, I just got finished with my first 100 days and I got 100 more to go! (laughs) I’m jokin’ around. I know that there’s three-hundred days in a year. But serious. I am serious here.
Jenna Bush: What is the big deal? I mean, I’m 19 and I drank a beer.
President George W. Bush: Well, in Texas they could put you to death for that.
Jenna Bush: Oh Daddy, gimme a break.
President George W. Bush: I mean, I don’t get it. You’re down in Texas, partyin’, thinkin’ everything is a big joke. I can’t believe you’re my daughter.
Jenna Bush: Of course I’m your daughter, Dad! Stop being so melodramaculous!
President George W. Bush: You’re the one being melodramaculous. Now I’m just trying to be compassionate. Now your mother and I are worried about you. She tells me your grades are slipping.
Jenna Bush: I have a 2.3.
President George W. Bush: 2.3! In Texas that’s legally drunk!
Jenna Bush: No, daddy, it’s my GPA.
(George W. Bush looks perplexed)
Jenna Bush: That’s Grade Point Average. A 2.3 is like a C plus.
President George W. Bush: C plus, that ain’t that bad! Hell, your mother’s overreacting. C plus! Hell, someone just earned a dinner at the Outback.
Jenna Bush: Really, Oh, the Outback? You’re not disappointed in me?
President George W. Bush: Heck no, heck no. In fact, come a little closer, let me tell you a story, tell you a little story about a guy with a C minus average, who was a failure in business, who was just fartin’ around down in Texas. Partyin’, drinkin’, doin’ blow. You know what happened to that guy?
Jenna Bush: No, what?
President George W. Bush: He went to jail, ’cause he was poor and Mexican.
President George W. Bush: But there was another guy doing the same stuff. But his dad was in charge of the CIA, then vice-president, then president. Do you know what happened to him?
Jenna Bush: I think I do.
President George W. Bush: He became president. I’m talking about me.
Jenna Bush: Do you think I could be president some day?
President George W. Bush: Well you never know. Maybe you’ll one day sit here and say:
Together: “¡En Vivo Desde Nueva York, es Sabado En La Noche!“
Thanks to Elizabeth Cross for this transcript!