Bravery & Unity


Bravery & Unity

Sir Kenneth Chandler…..Pierce Brosnan
Private Louis Jones…..Tracy Morgan
Lieutenant Colonel Robert Ward…..Will Ferrell
Lieutenant Colonel Gniewko Lubecki…..Darrell Hammond
Patrick O’Harrington…..Jimmy Fallon
Filipe Gonzalez…..Horatio Sanz

Narrator: September, 1944. The allied forces embark on Operation Marketgarden, a surprise airborne assault on German troops in Holland and Belgium. If the attack was going to succeed, the allies needed all the help it could get.

[ show host, Sir Kenneth Chandler, seated in his study ]

Sir Kenneth Chandler: In August of 1944, the British advance troops joined forces with an underseas command unit from Krapog. The Poles, of course, hated the Germans and were eager to help. But, sadly, they all perished. It seems that, due to a crucial design flaw, the Polish had built their submarines with screen doors. More than 70 men died that day.

Narrator: With Poland unable to assist, the Allies turned to Greece for help.

Sir Kenneth Chandler: The Greeks had a tremendous sense of brotherhood and fraternity. The men were very close to one another – after all, their motto was “Never Leave Your Buddy’s Behind”. Soldiers of all ages fought together. Why, among the Greek soldiers, the only way to separate the men from the boys was with a crowbar.

Narrator: The reinforcements helped, but as the operation wore on, Allied casualties mounted.

Private Louis Jones: Why did so many African-Americans die in the war? I’ll tell you: every time they started firing on us, Sarge would yell, “Get down!”, and me and my friends would jump up and start dancing. I watched six of my best friends die while doing the Funky Chicken.

Lieutenant Colonel Robert Ward: We were outside Demengen, and a friend of mine, a Jewish guy named Goldblat.. he stepped on a landmine, and.. we rushed over to him, and he was lying there bleeding – there was nothing we could do. We asked Goldblat, “Are you comfortable?” And he said, “Ah, I make a decent living.” He died in my arms.

Narrator: The operation was proving to be too ambitious. Pockets of Allied airborne troops were surrounded. Many were taken prisoner.

Lieutenant Colonel Gniewko Lubecki: [ speaking in German, translated into English ] My entire Polish realm was captured in . A friend of mine, a friend who grew up right down the street from me in Warsaw, was driven insane in the prison. They put my friend Stanislaus in a round room, and told him to sit in a corner. But it was a round room! There was no corner! Where was he to sit?! He took his own life.

Narrator: The Allied units, under great duress, still managed to find joy in simple pleasures, like Christmas dinner. It meant a lot to the troops, especially the 101st at Osterly.

Sir Kenneth Chandler V/O: [ over re-creation ] A soldier named Patrick O’Harrington, prepared a traditional Irish seven-course meal – a potato and a six-pack of beer. Burritos and tacos were provided by Felipe Gonzalez, who invited 300 of his Mexican friends from the 94th Infantry. More would have come, but they only had two jeeps.

Lieutenant Colonel Robert Ward: That was some kind of unit, we had people from all over.. we had a half-Italian, half-Pole named Antonio Wojcesak. He made me an offer I couldn’t understand. There was Pepe Chun, a half-Hispanic, half-Asian who stole an enemy Jeep but he couldn’t drive it. Then there was my friend Elmer Watkins from Alabama. He spent all of his time writing to his wife, and his sister, and his mother. He only had to write to one person. War is hell.

Narrator: Next week on the History Channel – an examination of Chinese beverage contamination warfare, entitled “Me Chinese, Me Play Joke, Me Put Pee-Pee In Your Coke.”

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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