Jingle: “Anatominals
Like you and me
They have got to go
So let’s all come together at the Anatominal Show!”

Announcer: “Anatominals” is the sole property of NBC and NBC Productions.

Kogi Bear: Hey, Boo!

Boo: Hey, Kogi.

Kogi Bear: What’s eating you, pally pal?

Boo: I got a rash around my nads.

Kogi Bear: Have you tried using some Cort-Aid?

Boo: Yeah.

Kogi Bear: The extra strength stuff usually works.

Boo: Yeah, it still itches. I had one around my ass last week It’s this berry diet.

Kogi Bear: Shh.. I say we go find a picnic lunch.

Boo: Sounds good, Kog. But first, I gotta take a dump.

Kogi Bear: I’ll be waiting.. [ scratches his nads, then sniffs fingers ] How you doing there, Boo?

Boo: I’m getting there, Kog.

Porcupine: What’s up, Kogi?

Kogi Bear: Hey, don’t even think about it. That’s my picnic lunch. [ swipes picnic basket from tourists ]

Hey, you took my lunch!

Kogi Bear: [ sits on picnic basket, his bulge lodged between the handles ] I don’t see any basket – just this rocking chair thing!

Oh, whatever..

Kogi Bear: [ opens basket ] Mmm.. sandwiches! Hey, back away!

Ranger: Okay, Kogi, I warned you.

Kogi Bear: I did not steal this picnic lunch!

Ranger: It’s not the lunch, Kogi. It’s the dress code. You bears are breaking it, and it’s making the tourists uncomfortable. Kogi, those shorts are way too tight. You’re supposed to wear boxers.

Kogi Bear: They’re in the wash.

Boo: I think those shorts are snazzy.

[ Mindy Bear and a coyote friend walk up, nipples exposed ]

Ranger: Mindy, that’s way too mich cleavage. You and your coyote friend better put on some blouses – now!

Mindy Bear: Fine. It’s getting cold, anyway. [ puts on blouse, as her nipples protrude through the fabric one-by-one ] [ cut to animated Lorne Michaels in SNL’s studios ]

Lorne Michaels: What am I doing? This is what it’s come to. It’s not [ bleep ] worth it. Get in here now!

[ Devil enters ]

Devil: What is it?

Lorne Michaels: Look, the deal’s off.

Devil: After 26 years?

Lorne Michaels: You never said it would get this bad. I want out.

Devil: Come on. You say that after every “SNL” movie.

Lorne Michaels: This is worse. I mean, I’m an adult.

Devil: Alright, Dumb-Dumb. But that means none of this ever happened.

Lorne Michaels: Fine.

Devil: You’ll be in a different place.

Lorne Michaels: Whatever. We’re finished.

Devil: Hmm.. okay.

[ Lorne is zapped to a different venue ]

Lorne Michaels: What the [ bleep ]?

[ Native walks past ]

Native: Thank you for the supplies!

Lorne Michaels: Hmm.. the Peace Corps. Noble. I like it. Road less traveled. [ a bee buzzes overhead ] My God! Get me a spray!

Native: A la balaki balakalunga.

Lorne Michaels: Alright, forget it.. take me back!

Devil: But let me show you the difference you’ve made had you never been born.

Lorne Michaels: Blah-di-blah-di-blip-blop. Take me back!

Devil: Okay, Dumb-Dumb. But this time it’s double eternity.

Lorne Michaels: Let’s go. [ transported back to SNL Studios, watching the Anatominals cartoon ] Uh-oh. I smell a new hit.

Jingle: “Let’s all come together
At the Anatominal Show!”

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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