SNL Transcripts: Sean Hayes: 02/17/01: Homocil


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 26: Episode 12

00l: Sean Hayes / Shaggy


Dad #1…..Will Ferrell
Mom…..Ana Gasteyer
Dad #2…..Chris Parnell
Dad #3…..Tracy Morgan

Announcer: Do you suffer from inexplicable anxiety?

Are you confused and upset?

Do you have an overwhelming feeling that you’ve done something wrong?

[ dissolve into flashback of Boy #1 twirling a baton in an empty gym ]

Boy #1: Hi, Dad! This is called a Double Susie!

Announcer: You can’t control whatever he is or isn’t. But you can control how it affects you. Homocil can provide relief for parental anxiety disorder. Homocil can help.

[ show Boy #2 running effeminately with a volleyball at a school gym]

Boy #2: Hi, Mommy!

[ Mom waves back weakly, her eyes to the floor in shame ]

Announcer: If you’re obsessed about things you can’t change.. If you are unable to cope with unforeseen developments..

[ Dad #2 opens Boy #3’s bedroom, to find his son holding up a sparkly tank top ]

Boy #3: Look what I made! Isn’t it fabulous!

[ Dad #2 closes door and breaks down in a sobbing mess in the hallway ]

Announcer: If you avoid prolonged contact with your children, due to these overwhelming anxieties..

[ Boy #4 enters living room wearing apron, holding out a platter of food ]

Boy #4: Who wants crème brûlée?

[ Dad #3 grabs the bottle of Homocil pills and chugs it down. He chases the pills with a bottle of Budweiser.]

Announcer: When taken regularly, Homocil dramatically decreases parental anxiety.

[ shows boys playing basketball; cuts to Boy #4 performing as a male cheerleader amongst female cheerleaders ] [ cut to Dad in the crowd smiling painfully and near-catatonic, giving a forced thumbs-up to his kid ]

Announcer: Homocil. Until you come around.

[ show Mom hugging Boy #2 ]

Because it’s your problem. Not theirs.

SNL Transcripts


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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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