SNL Transcripts: Sean Hayes: 02/17/01: Homocil

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 26: Episode 12

00l: Sean Hayes / Shaggy


Dad #1…..Will Ferrell
Mom…..Ana Gasteyer
Dad #2…..Chris Parnell
Dad #3…..Tracy Morgan

Announcer: Do you suffer from inexplicable anxiety?

Are you confused and upset?

Do you have an overwhelming feeling that you’ve done something wrong?

[ dissolve into flashback of Boy #1 twirling a baton in an empty gym ]

Boy #1: Hi, Dad! This is called a Double Susie!

Announcer: You can’t control whatever he is or isn’t. But you can control how it affects you. Homocil can provide relief for parental anxiety disorder. Homocil can help.

[ show Boy #2 running effeminately with a volleyball at a school gym]

Boy #2: Hi, Mommy!

[ Mom waves back weakly, her eyes to the floor in shame ]

Announcer: If you’re obsessed about things you can’t change.. If you are unable to cope with unforeseen developments..

[ Dad #2 opens Boy #3’s bedroom, to find his son holding up a sparkly tank top ]

Boy #3: Look what I made! Isn’t it fabulous!

[ Dad #2 closes door and breaks down in a sobbing mess in the hallway ]

Announcer: If you avoid prolonged contact with your children, due to these overwhelming anxieties..

[ Boy #4 enters living room wearing apron, holding out a platter of food ]

Boy #4: Who wants crème brûlée?

[ Dad #3 grabs the bottle of Homocil pills and chugs it down. He chases the pills with a bottle of Budweiser.]

Announcer: When taken regularly, Homocil dramatically decreases parental anxiety.

[ shows boys playing basketball; cuts to Boy #4 performing as a male cheerleader amongst female cheerleaders ] [ cut to Dad in the crowd smiling painfully and near-catatonic, giving a forced thumbs-up to his kid ]

Announcer: Homocil. Until you come around.

[ show Mom hugging Boy #2 ]

Because it’s your problem. Not theirs.

SNL Transcripts


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