SNL Transcripts: Seann William Scott: 10/06/01: The Approval Center


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 27: Episode 2

01b: Seann William Scott / Sum41

The Approval Center

Client #1…..Horatio Sanz
Announcer…..Seth Meyers
Client #2…..Ana Gasteyer
Client #3…..Seann William Scott
Client #4…..Chris Kattan
Client #5…..Tracy Morgan

Client #1: Since I bankrupted, I can’t get approved for nothing!

Announcer V/O: Are you having a hard time getting approved?

Client #1: Yes! I said that!

Announcer V/O: Call the professionals at the Approval Center! We cna figure it out.. for you!

Client #1: They asked me a whole lot of stuff about things. [ a beat ] Now, I’m a-pproved!

[ stamp zooms onto screen: “Approved!” ]

Client #2: After the tornado, I felt stuck! Then I called the Apprival Center. They asked me osme things – like my first name, and my last name.. And now I’m approved!

[ stamp zooms onto screen: “Approved!” ]

Client #2: I can’t wait!

Client #3: I was trying to buy a fishing pole with a bad check. They said, “No way, Jose!” I tried to tell them that I needed it to fish with. They had me forcibly removed from the flea market. I was embarrassed for myself and my date. That’s when I called the Approval Center. When they answered the phone, they said, “Guess what?” And I said, “What?” And they said, “You’re approved!” And I said, “Awesome!” And then they said, “Okay, bye.” And I said, “Bye!”

[ stamp zooms onto screen: “Approved!” ]

Client #3: Thanks, Approval Center! Yeah!

Client #4: I never even called.. and they still approved me! I don’t know what.. I’m approved for.. but I know it feels really, really, really, really good! Finally! I’m approved!

[ stamp zooms onto screen: “Approved!” ]

Client #5: I called the Approval Center, and they hooked me up! They just asked me a few questions, like “Do you want to be approved?” And I sai, “Yes!” And then they asked me, “Did you hear me ask you this question?” I said, “Yeah!” Then they said I was approved! Now my brother’s people will have to respect me! Because I was approved!

[ stamp zooms onto screen: “Approved!” ]

“When you’re in a rut
And you need a break!
Call the Approval Center!”

Announcer V/O: Not legally binding!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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