Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 27: Episode 4
November 3rd, 2001
Dan Aykroyd Ashcroft’s Press ConferenceSummary: John Ashcroft’s (Darrell Hammond) terrorism warning has sketchy details.
Recurring Characters: Dick Cheney.
John Goodman’s MonologueSummary: John Goodman attempts to “wing” his monologue just like the Yankees did at the World Series.
Herbal Essence For MenSummary: The shampoo does equally well having an orgasmic effect on men.
Hudson Valley Community CircuitSummary: Interviews with people and businesses with unfortunate names that have suffered since the terrorist attack on America.
Liberty Medical InsuranceSummary: Despite his endorsement for the home health products, Wilford Brimley (John Goodman) hasn’t been taking very good care of himself.
She’s The Girl With No Gaydar!!!Summary: Clueless Nicole (Rachel Dratch) thinks a string of gay partygoers are eligible bachelors for her choosing.
Recurring Characters: Nicole.
e.p.t. Home Pregnancy TestSummary: After their one-night stand, two college students (Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler) check to see if they’re pregnant.
CBS Evening Anthrax UpdateSummary: Dan Rather (Darrell Hammond) projects which newscasters might have anthrax.
Recurring Characters: Dan Rather.
Ja Rule performs “Always On Time”
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Seth Meyers says New York is sure to win the World Series as long as Boston doesn’t root for their victory. To deter postal terrorist threats, Elwood Blues (Dan Aykroyd) and Mighty Mack (John Goodman) sing “The Letter.”
Recurring Characters: Elwood Blues, Mighty Mack.
America UndercoverSummary: Police officers (John Goodman, Dean Edwards) question the circumstances surrounding a dispute between Gator (Chris Kattan) and his white trash wife (Amy Poehler) who’s hiding in the stove.
Recurring Characters: Gator, Gator’s Wife.
Ja Rule performs “Givin It Up”
Bad Conceptual TheaterSummary: Leonard Pinth-Garnell (Dan Aykroyd) presents a play written by an infinite number of monkeys.
Recurring Characters: Leonard Pinth-Garnell.
Little SleuthsSummary: A disgruntled detective (John Goodman) is partnered with amateur sleuths Bookie Newton (Seth Meyers) and his kid sister (Amy Poehler).