01e: Gwyneth Paltrow / Ryan Adams
Geminis Twin
Sway…..Dean Edwards
Britannica…..Maya Rudolph
Joanette…..Ana Gasteyer
Chanterell…..Gwyneth Paltrow
Sway: Welcome to the Geminis Twin Weekend! Im Sway! Its all Gemini, all the time, all weekend, 24-2! Now, from their latest CD, America the Bootyful, which drops today, the spankin new video from the ladies of Geminis Twin Red, White, and Not You!
(cut to video)
(The twins are dressed as patriotic runway models and walk down a runway aisle)
All members: (singing)
Red is the color of my heart
White is the color of your lies
Blue is what youre gonna be
If you keep on messin with me
Comin home late at night
Smelling like aroma spirits
Actin’ like you’re outta sight
With your nasty overbite (oh-ohh)
You be actin’ all robotic
When I’m tryin to get erotic
So why you goinâ all psychotic
That aint very patriot-ic!
Oh, no no no
All you wanna do is bone
Like a caveman, Fred Flintstone
Play you like a saxophone
Pass you like a kidney sto-o-o-ne
There aint no more you and me
GT-3, we out!
(clip ends, cut to MTV set)
Sway: Yo, now lets give it up for Geminis Twin!
(the members enter)
Sway: Yo, the video was mad patriotic! So Geminis Twin, theres a lotta serious business goin on in the world today. How yall crackin lately?
Britannica: Well, this has been a real reflectionary period of time for us as individuals and as members of America.
Joanette: Mmm-hmm. Weve been in a real stressful conditionality in regards to our poker capacity.
Britannica: Which resulted in us eatin a lotta Popeyes. And Taco Bell.
Joanette: Basically we was getting chunky sweet.
Britannica: Word, our manager put us on a weight loss pruz-o-gram!
All members: (singing a capella) Americans diet, high pro-ty-ine!
Sway: Cool, cool. Yo, Ive gotta question for the new girl who are you?
Chanterell: Im the new member, they call me Chanterell.
Britannica: Yeah, we call her that cause her real name is Bridget.
Chanterelle: Word. And Bridget sounds mad white, yo.
Joanette: But its all good cause she make me look ethnic.
Chanterelle: Word, see they both white you know what Im sayin?
Sway: Yeah, word on that. And I hear you guys met by accident. So give us the 411!
Britannica: Okay, see heres what happened, Sway. We was on our tour bus and we was tryin to decide where to eat. See, I wanted them salty biscuits from Red Lobster with the cheese up them
Joanette: Mmm-hmm and I wanted Bob Evans for the beef and noodles.
Britannica: Yeah, things got crazy, then my dad got all cranked up and started yellin out when we realized no one was at the wheel.
Joanette: Yeah, and then we ran into her. I was like, “I’m gonna sue!” and they was like, “Hold up, you wanna be in the group?” I was like, “What group?”, and they was like, “Geminis Twin!” and I was like, “I aint never heard of them, but aight!”
Britannica: Yeah, we glad she didnt sue cause we wanna steer clear of issues involving law and order chung-chung!
Chantrelle: Mmm-hmm. Drama dismissed!
All members: (cheering) No drama! No drama! No-no-no drama!
Sway: No doubt, no doubt. So what can you tell us about the new album?
Britannica: Well, we just felt it was real important to get an album out right away so we could sell it.
Sway: So, are any of the proceeds goin to charity?
Britannica: Well, we discussed that and decided it didnt fit into our world right now.
Joanette: But we do encourage anyone who is sufferin to go out and buy our album.
Britannica: Word, cause the people who buy our album are the real heroes.
(singing a capella) Hee-roooo-oes!
Chanterelle: Sam Goody!
Sway: Thats deep, yo! But seriously, we gotta give our props to the U.S.A. I love you U.S.A., youre beautiful. Yo, how come yall dont call me no more, U.S.A? Naw, Im just playin wit you. I be pretending the U.S.A. was a real person, yall!
All members: Thats aight, youre funnin, you real cool!
Sway: Aight yall, that about wraps it up for the Geminis Twin Weekend. Ladies, why dont you take us out with a little bit of America the Bootyful?
All Members: Aight, aight! Yeah, lets do it!
(singing a capella)
And
and
and
And crown thy good with bo-o-otyhood
From me to shining
meeeee-ughwhoo-whoo
yeah!
Sway: This is Sway wrapping it up with Geminis Twin and they gon pay!
(fade)
Thanks to Ann*e Hussey and CaliStarDust for this transcript!