SNL Transcripts: Derek Jeter: 12/01/01


Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:



Special Guests:
December 1st, 2001

Derek Jeter

Shakira

Bubba Sparxxx

David Wells

David Cone

  • A Message From the Attorney-General of the United States

    John Ashcroft lists signs that someone might be a terrorist.

    Recurring Characters: John Ashcroft, President George W. Bush.

  • Derek Jeter’s Monologue

    Jeter injures audience members by hitting baseballs into the studio.

  • Preparation H

    (Repeat) See: 09/29/01.

  • The Iglesias Brothers

    Older, uglier Iglesius brother (Jeter) joins in on album.

  • Baseball Wives

    Wives of Yankee ballplayers gab in the stands.

  • The Masseuse

    Jeter is too tense to enjoy session with masseuse (Chris Kattan).

  • Dissing Your Dog

    Dogs learn who’s master of the house with new video help series.

  • Derek Jeter’s Taco Hole

    During off-season, Jeter sells tacos.

  • Dealing With Mom & Dad

    Jeter helps family’s son (Chris Kattan) play better baseball through violence.

  • Shakira performs “Whenever, Wherever”

  • Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

    Jeter in Point/Counterpoint with Red Sox fan Seth Meyers.

  • Osama Pep Talk

    Taliban wants the $25 million for Osama bin Laden’s (Will Ferrell) head.

  • The Perm

    Everyone laughs at Glen’s (Jeter) outdated, unstylish perm.

  • Bubba Sparxxx performs “Ugly” & “Lovely”

  • Season’s Greetings From “Saturday Night Live”

    Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, Tracy Morgan update Christmas ditty.

  • My Big Thick Novel

    Author acknowledges bizarre breeding for reproductive purposes.

  • Goodnights

    SNL Transcripts

    • Author: Don Roy King

    Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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