Josh Hartnett’s Monologue
Josh Hartnett: Thank you, thanks for coming along you guys. Thanks, thank you. Thanks a lot yeah, alright… no no no, it’s okay, it’s okay. Thanks a lot you guys.
Hi, I’m Josh Hartnett. Well, you know what? I know you guys are probably expecting to see the same old Josh Hartnett stuff tonight, but… you’re in for a big surprise… because I’m not gonna be the Josh Hartnett that you’re used to seeing, alright?
Jimmy Fallon: Josh, Josh, Josh! Can I talk to you for a second?
Josh Hartnett: Yeah Jimmy, what are you doing? I’m kind of in the middle of something
Jimmy Fallon: What are you doing? What are you doing?
Josh Hartnett: What do you mean? What are you talking about? I’m being the new Josh Hartnett, you know, I think people are kinda sick of the old Josh Hartnett.
Jimmy Fallon: No, not, not, not a good idea.
Josh Hartnett: Well, I’m trying to think outside of the Josh Hartnett box.
Jimmy Fallon: Not cool man! Not cool!
Josh Hartnett: Okay well, how would you know about that anyway?
Jimmy Fallon: I did it already I became the new Jimmy Fallon.
Josh Hartnett: What are you talking about? When did you do this?
Jimmy Fallon: This was way back in 2000
Josh Hartnett: Oh
Jimmy Fallon: Things were different back then.
Josh Hartnett: I remember that.Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, I mean, you gotta remember this was a long time ago. This was back before they had iPods, you know This is back when cell phones now they’re this big back then they were this big. I tried to be the new Jimmy Fallon but I was young. I trusted the wrong people I don’t know, take a look
(shows a picture of Jimmy with a mustache and shorts)
Josh Hartnett: That’s that’s not good man.
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah I, I know
Josh Hartnett: I mean, that’s pretty bad.
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, yeah, I know.
Josh Hartnett: I mean I really can’t believe you still work here
Jimmy Fallon: Hey, let it go! Alright? Look, my point is that not everybody is tired of the old Josh Hartnett.
Josh Hartnett: Really?
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, yeah
Josh Hartnett: Are you you’re not tired of the old Josh Hartnett?
Jimmy Fallon: I’ve been working with you all week, I’m a little tired of the old Josh Hartnett.
Josh Hartnett: Well, did you use to like the old Josh Hartnett?
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, the new Jimmy Fallon he really, really, really liked almost too much. I mean, do I have to show you the picture again? It was too much.
(shows the picture again)
Josh Hartnett: Yeah, well thanks Jimmy, thanks a lot man.
Jimmy Fallon: You’re welcome.
Josh Hartnett: Do you wanna stick around for the rest of this or
Jimmy Fallon: No, I gotta go
Josh Hartnett: Alright man Jimmy Fallon.
Well, We do have a great show for you guys tonight. The old Josh Hartnett is here. Pink is here! Stick around, we’ll be right back!
Thanks to Tal Horwitz for this transcript!