The Shout-Out Show


01j: Josh Hartnett / Pink

The Shout-Out Show

Grandmaster Freddy…..Tracy Morgan
Ken Stein…..Chris Kattan
Zola…..Maya Rudolph
Big Perv…..Dean Edwards
Murphy…..Jeff Richards
Dina Dexter…..Pink
Robert Saltzman…..Josh Hartnett

Announcer: Live, from the Albany Projects in Brooklyn, U.S.A., it’s “The Shout-Out Show”! With your host, Grandmaster Freddy!

Grandmaster Freddy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! This is Grandmaster Freddy! And this is “The Shout-Out Show”! First of all, I gotta give a Big Dog shout-out to the audience, ’cause y’all doin’ big things! [ audience applauds wildly ] That’s right! A’ight! And I’d also like to give a big shout-out to my station manager, Ken Stein!

Ken Stein: [ humbled ] Thanks, Grandmaster! Shout-ut to you, too! Ha ha!

Grandmaster Freddy: Let’s not forget to give a special shout-out to our official sponsor – Sobe Sports Drink! Sobe! Just drink it! And a special shout-out goes to your Airness, Michael Jordan! Your wife Juanita about to take yo ass to the cleaners! So keep your head up, baller! Hey, Juany – give me a call tomorrow, baby!

Now, we gonna head straight to the phone lines, so all you cats out there can make sopme shout-outs! So make ’em laugh – do the damn thing! First caller, you on “The Shout-Out Show”!

Zola: Hey, Freddy! I’d like to give a shout-out to all my co-workers in housekeeping at the Brooklyn Comfort Inn!

Grandmaster Freddy: Big minimum wage shout-out to housekeeping over at the BK Comfort Inn! You know you who is!

Zola: I also wanna shout-out to my sister, Avia Raedell, who’s over in the Army Reserve – gotta shout you out, girl!

Grandmaster Freddy: That shout’s going out to G.I. Jane, who’s serving Uncle Sam!

Zola: And I’d like to give a special shout-out to the makers of Valtrex, for helping me with my herpes problem!

Grandmaster Freddy: A’ight! Medicinal shout-out to Valtrex! We gotta move on! Next caller!

Big Perv: Hey, yo, yo! Freddy! Yo, this is Big Perv from up North, yo! I’d like to give a crazy shout-out to the three females who’s currently pregnant by me!

Grandmaster Freddy: A’ight! Unwanted pregnancy shout-out to the knocked-up chicks in your life!

Big Perv: Yo, and I want to shout-out my three kids – Pervis, Jr., Delronna, and Felsgar! Daddy loves you, be out in 2005 – peace!

Grandmaster Freddy: Dysfunctional shout-out to your boys! Next caller, you’re on “The Shout-Out Show” with Grandmaster!

Murphy: Hey, Grandmaster, hey! I’d like to send a major shout-out to all the guys in Mergers and Acquisitions at Merryl Lynch, and, oh..! Also, a shout-out to Pierre Desomaliar in Pinchot Lane.. and another shout-out to my bud Tucker at the Shag Harbor Yacht Club! [ chuckles ]

Grandmaster Freddy: Big Caucasian shout-out to all those dudes – all those square ones – from another lame white boy! Just time for y’all favorite segment – the Shout-Out of the Week! This week’s winner is from Hell’s Kitchen, here in New York. How ’bout a shout-out for Dina Dexter!

[ Dina Dexter enters set ]

Dina Dexter: What’s up, chickenheads! First of all, I want to give a shout-out to all the girls I work with outside the 8th Ave. entrance to the Port Authority Bus Terminal! I love you all! Except for Nisha – I know you ate my fish sandwich, bitch! And when I find you, I’m gonna cut you up! [ exits ]

Grandmaster Freddy: Shout-out to all the street walkers outside the Port Authority – minus the fish sandwich girl who’s gonna get cut! Now, it’s time for my guest. He’s an associate director of the city harvest – check this out, it’s a food rescue program! how ’bout a warm shout-out to Robert Saltzman!

[ Robert Saltzman enters set ]

Grandmaster Freddy: What’s up, damn! Oh, man, give me some love, babe!

Robert Saltzman: What’s up?

Grandmaster Freddy: Sit down, have a seat, dog! [ they sit ] All right! Welcome, Robert, to “The Shout-Out Show”!

Robert Saltzman: Word, man! Thank you, thank you!

Grandmaster Freddy: Alright! So, who you gonna shout-out first?!

Robert Saltzman: Well, you know, as Associate Director of the City Harvest, I’d like to give a big shout-out to al the volunteers, who, you know, are leading the battle against hunger, and against all the, uh.. against hunger, basically.

Grandmaster Freddy: Yeah, yeah, yeah! Big non-profit shout to the City Harvest!

Robert Saltzman: Yeah. Well, as you know, there are five million pounds of food thrown away each year by New York restaurants.. and, at the same time, almost a million people go hungry, and half of them children.

Grandmaster Freddy: Shout-out to starving children!

Robert Saltzman: Well, uh.. I don’t think you really.. no, I’m sure you don’t mean that. Hey, uh.. starving children are not who you should be giving a shout-out to, right?

Grandmaster Freddy: Nah, nah, it don’t work that way, period! This “The Shout-Out Show”, cuz!

Robert Saltzman: Yeah, but.. I’m talking about single mothers in poverty here.. I’m talking about women who are malnourished to the point that they stop having regular menstrual cycles.

Grandmaster Freddy: Big, big gynecological shout-out to irregular menstrual cycles! And on that note, another shout-out to our sponsor! Sobe!

Robert Saltzman: Listen, man, we met one family that was so desperate for food, they were forced to eat garbage!

Grandmaster Freddy: Shout-out to eating garbage!

Robert Saltzman: Why would you give a shout-out to eating garbage?! Innocent people are starving right here, in this city!

Grandmaster Freddy: Special shout-out to dead people! [ laughs ] We are about out of time, any upcoming projects you wanna tell us about?

Robert Saltzman: Yeah.. I was gonna tell..

Grandmaster Freddy: A’ight!

Robert Saltzman: I was..

Grandmaster Freddy: A’ight!

Robert Saltzman: I was gonna talk about..

Grandmaster Freddy: A’ight!

Robert Saltzman: ..the City Harvest Walk-a-Thon..

Grandmaster Freddy: A’ight!

Robert Saltzman: ..that we planned to draw awareness to both the feeding of the hungry, and drig abuse!

Grandmaster Freddy: Shout-out to drug abuse! A’ight! [ Robert storms off the set ] Shout-out to the cat that just walked off my show! Dig this here! That’s it for this week! I’d like to give a final shout-out to the New York Jets, who unfortunately ate it earlier tonight! Like those homeless people eating garbage! Do the damn thing!

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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