Jack Black’s Monologue
[ grabs his guitar and sits at op a stool ]
Jack Black: This has been a dream of mine for a long time, people. And I’ve been watching this show since I was about twelve years old, and.. God, I can’t even explain it in words, it’s just like.. I don’t know. Some of you may know that I’m sort of a music dude. And I’ve prepared a song that I think best expresses my feelings about this unbelievable experience.
“Feels like a dream
like some delicious fantasy.
Seems to me it can’t be real,
but it is.
A beam of light
shining down and engulfing me on the stage.
For the first time in my life, I can see
that the lucky one is not me, but you
because you get to see me!
The most talented man that the world has ever seen!
Like a cross between a lightning bolt and James Dean!
I only wish that I was you looking at me!“
This is where John Belushi and Gilda Radner stood – right up here.
And now I’m here!
“And I’m-a blowing them off the stage with my intensity!
Erasing their memory from the annals of history!
Changing the way that historians think about comedy!
Come on now, Cage, twin tin flute solo, come on!”
We’ve got a really grat show tonight – The Strokes are here! So stick around, we’ll be right back!