Astronaut Jones
Astronaut Jones…..Tracy Morgan
Female Alien…..Britney Spears
Astronaut Jones: This is Astronaut Jones. I’m on the planet Porpula. There seems to be no one around. Over. I’ll keep looking. Over. Maybe there’s.. danger.
Jingle:
“Rocket
I’m taking a rocket.
I’m packing my suitcase
Hey, look out, Moon!
Yeah, a rocket
into outer space.
Goodbye, human race
I’ll be there soon.
Blast off!
For fun and adventure.
There’s a fair adventure
collecting stones.
Yeah, it’s my way
on the ol’ space highway.
That’s why they all say
“There goes Astronaut Jones!”
Hey!”
Announcer: “Astronaut Jones”. Tonight’s episode: Episode 16, The Creature From Porpula.
Astronaut Jones: [ into walkie-talkie ] Hello, Earth? I think I hear someone coming. I’m going to make contact. Over and out, Earth. Bye.
Female Alien: Earthling, my name is Krugella..
Astronaut Jones: Uh-huh.
Female Alien: I’m the Queen of Perillians..
Astronaut Jones: Right.
Female Alien: A proud and peace-loving race..
Astronaut Jones: Right.
Female Alien: My people have been awaiting your arrival for some time now.
Astronaut Jones: Stay word.
Female Alien: We’re in desperate need of your help.
Astronaut Jones: Dig it.
Female Alien: The Galaxians have seized our cities and plundered our riches.
Astronaut Jones: What?
Female Alien: They will stop at nothing until our whole cizilization is..
Astronaut Jones: Mmm-hmm.
Female Alien: ..blotted from the universe.
Astronaut Jones: Say what.
Female Alien: You’re our only hope.
Astronaut Jones: Right.
Female Alien: You must help us..
Astronaut Jones: Dig.
Female Alien: ..or we will surely perish.
Astronaut Jones: Mmm-hmm.
Female Alien: What do you say?
Astronaut Jones: Right.
Female Alien: What do you say to that, Great One?
Astronaut Jones: Well, why don’t you drop out of that green jumpsuit and show me that phat ass!
Jingle:
“Rocket
I’m taking a rocket.
I’m packing my suitcase
Hey, look out, Moon!”
Announcer: “Astronaut Jones”, written by Tracy Morgan. Directed by Tracy Morgan. Hair and Make-up by Tracy Morgan. Produced by Tracy Morgan and Melvin Goldfarb. This has been a Morgan/Goldfarb Production.
Voice: You like?
Astronaut Jones V/O: You’re look’ up, money!
[ fade ]
