Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 27: Episode 12
Britney Spears’ Monologue
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Britney Spears!
(Chris Kattan comes out dressed as Britney Spears, then start dancing. The real Britney Spears comes out behind him)
Britney Spears: Chris. What are you doing?
Chris Kattan: Im Britney Spears. Dancing and singing. Uh Security ahaha.
Britney Spears: (whispering) Chris, Im Britney Spears.
Chris Kattan: Oh really?
Britney Spears: Yes.
Chris Kattan: Are you not that Innocent? Cause I am. (starts dancing to Britneys Innocent).
Britney Spears: Chris, look at me okay. Listen to me. Youre not Britney Spears. Okay?
Chris Kattan: Uh, hello. I have boobs. Im dating Justin Timberlake.
Britney Spears: youre dating Justin Timberlake? What did you two do last night?
Chris Kattan: Well. I think I can announce, that Im no longer a virgin. And uh then we just worked out on our dance move.
Britney Spears: Oh, I wanna see your move. Come on
Chris Kattan: you wanna see my moves?
Britney Spears: Yes please, I wanna see
Chris Kattan: You wanna se MY moves? (points at himself).
Britney Spears: Yes Please.
Chris Kattan: Okay. (starts dancing)
Britney Spears: That was That was pretty good Chris.
Chris Kattan: Thanks.
Britney Spears: Uhm..tjeck this out. (Britney starts dancing).
Chris Kattan: Okay, I dont know what that was.
Britney Spears: Alright you know what. I know how to settle this. Justin can you come out here for a second.
(Justin Timberlake enters the stage).
Justin Timberlake: Whats up. Hello Kattan. Listen uh..(to Britney) I just wanna say I had a really great time last night.
Britney Spears: Justin, that wasnt me. I wasnt that was not me.
(Chris raises his hand)
Justin Timberlake: (feeling sick) Kattan, You gotta stop doing that man.
Britney Spears: Chris what made you think you could get away with this?
Chris Kattan: I dont know. Im sorry, my personal life is falling apart, okay. “Corky Romano” didnt do as well, as I thought, you know. Im keeping my fingers cross for the video, so
Britney Spears: This isnt cool, Chris, seriously, its not cool.
Chris Kattan: Right.
(Justin Timberlake still feeling sick)
Chris Kattan: I uh I do Mango though, thats kind of cool (in Mango voice)..No you cant have me. (Cheers from audience)
Britney Spears: Thats not cool
Chris Kattan: Okay..alright..well Im gonna..go take a shower for like a couple a days okay
Britney Spears: yeah
(Chris leaves the stage applause)
Britney Spears: Im sorry about that folks, but we have a great show.
Justin Timberlake: Britney Spears is here (applause).
Britney Spears: Stick around, well be right back.
Submitted by: Steen Christensen