SNL Transcripts: Britney Spears: 02/02/02: Britney Spears’ Monologue


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 27: Episode 12

01l: Britney Spears

Britney Spears’ Monologue

…..Britney Spears
…..Justin Timberlake
…..Chris Kattan

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen — Britney Spears!

(Chris Kattan comes out dressed as Britney Spears, then start dancing. The real Britney Spears comes out behind him)

Britney Spears: Chris. What are you doing?

Chris Kattan: I’m Britney Spears. Dancing and singing. Uh Security…ahaha.

Britney Spears: (whispering) Chris, I’m Britney Spears.

Chris Kattan: Oh really?

Britney Spears: Yes.

Chris Kattan: Are you not that Innocent? Cause I am. (starts dancing to Britneys ‘Innocent’).

Britney Spears: Chris, look at me okay. Listen to me. You’re not Britney Spears. Okay?

Chris Kattan: Uh, hello. I have boobs. I’m dating Justin Timberlake.

Britney Spears: you’re dating Justin Timberlake? What did you two do last night?

Chris Kattan: Well. I think I can announce, that I’m no longer a virgin. And uh…then we just worked out on our dance move.

Britney Spears: Oh, I wanna see your move. Come on

Chris Kattan: you wanna see my moves?

Britney Spears: Yes please, I wanna see…

Chris Kattan: You wanna se MY moves? (points at himself).

Britney Spears: Yes Please.

Chris Kattan: Okay. (starts dancing)

Britney Spears: That was…That was pretty good Chris.

Chris Kattan: Thanks.

Britney Spears: Uhm..tjeck this out. (Britney starts dancing).

Chris Kattan: Okay, I don’t know what that was.

Britney Spears: Alright you know what. I know how to settle this. Justin can you come out here for a second.

(Justin Timberlake enters the stage).

Justin Timberlake: What’s up. Hello Kattan. Listen uh..(to Britney) I just wanna say I had a really great time last night.

Britney Spears: Justin, that wasn’t me. I wasn’t…that was not me.

(Chris raises his hand)

Justin Timberlake: (feeling sick) Kattan, You gotta stop doing that man.

Britney Spears: Chris what made you think you could get away with this?

Chris Kattan: I don’t know. I’m sorry, my personal life is falling apart, okay. “Corky Romano” didn’t do as well, as I thought, you know. I’m keeping my fingers cross for the video, so…

Britney Spears: This isn’t cool, Chris, seriously, it’s not cool.

Chris Kattan: Right.

(Justin Timberlake still feeling sick)

Chris Kattan: I uh…I do Mango though, that’s kind of cool…(in Mango voice)..No you can’t have me. (Cheers from audience)

Britney Spears: That’s not cool

Chris Kattan: Okay..alright..well I’m gonna..go take a shower for like a couple a days okay

Britney Spears: yeah

(Chris leaves the stage…applause)

Britney Spears: I’m sorry about that folks, but we have a great show.

Justin Timberlake: Britney Spears is here (applause).

Britney Spears: Stick around, we’ll be right back.

Submitted by: Steen Christensen

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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