HBO: First Look


01l: Britney Spears

HBO: First Look

Joanette…..Ana Gasteyer
Britanica…..Maya Rudolph
Dijonaise…..Britney Spears
Spuzz…..Will Ferrell
Brian Glazer…..Chris Kattan
Diane Warren…..Rachel Dratch


Announcer: Next, on HBO: Go behind the scenes with musical superstars Gemini’s Twin, in their highly-anticipated feature film debut: “Damn My Dixie’s On Fire.” Next, on HBO: First Look.

[ dissolve to Gemini’s Twin sitting on the set of their film ]

Joanette: Yo, yo, yo! Gemini’s Twin makin’ our first movie!

together: First movie, first movie! First movie!

Britanica: Yeah, well basically our reason for writin’ this movie is so we can be in it.

Joanette: Yeah.

Dijonaise: I thought the Civil War was a real historical time in our history.

Britanica; Mmm-hmm.

Joanette: Plus, we wanted to wear these big ol’ skirts! Know what I’m sayin’?

Dijonaise: Yeah.

Britanica: Yeah.

Joanette: Yeah, ‘cuz see, what we was tryin’ to do here was create a new groundbreakin’ genre – the hip-hop epic.

Britanica: Mmm-hmm. The hip-hop-a-pop.

Joanette: Yeah, it’s a new form.

[ dissolve to Spuzz ]

Announcer: Directed by their collaborator, choreographer and friend – Spuzz.

Spuzz: Yeah, I directed the Twins in four videos. Most recently, “Planet of Mens”. And, uh, when they axed me to do dem “My Dixie’s On Fire”, I was all, “Cool! Let’s twist the shizzy up and get all freaky-deaky.” And, uh.. I think you can really see that attitude in the bell tower scenes.

[ dissolve to the belfry scene in the movie, alone in the belfry ]

Dijoanise: Who dat is?

[ Joanette and Britanica enter the belfry ]

Britanica: Ooh. I didn’t expect nobody to be here.

Joanette: Ooh, what are you doin’ up here in dis bel-free?

Together: [ singing ] “I said! B to the E to the L to the F to the R to the Y! Belfry!”

Dijoanise: Just chillin’, what’chy’all doin’?

Joanette: Just chillin’.

Britanica: Chillin’. Mindin’ my own bidness.

Joanette: Yeah.

Dijoanise: Can y’all keep a secret?

Joanette: Mmm-hmm.

Dijonaise: War is hard.

Joanette: Mmm-hmm..

Britanica: Yeah! And it’s boring, too.

Joanette: I can’t wait until the war is over in 1865.

Dijonaise: Y’all I’m hungry! I could go for some chicken-fried steak and biscuits!

Britanica: Are you crazy! It’s wartime!

Joanette: You ain’t gonna git no biscuits!

[ dissolve to Brian Glazer, Producer ]

Brian Glazer: This is what producers do. We put things together. First of all, you’ve got the Civil War, which is awesome! Completely it’s own thing! And I go, “What else is hot?” Gemini’s Twin! Lot of heat, a lot of buzz, my daughter loves them. And you know what? The bet script my assisant has ever read!

[ dissolve to Gemini’s Twin giving an interview on their set ]

Joanette: Okay, like, my character, she a Quaker. We call her Lil’ Q. Mmm-hmm. But what’s complex about her is that she has a eating disorder.

Britanica: Yeah. And I play a nurse who goes crazy, and eventually loses her mind.

Dijonaise: I play a runaway slave whose name is Ungawa.

Britanica: Yeah. ‘Cuz I wasn’t gonna do that.

Dijonaise: No, and the cool thing about her is that, by a certain part of the movie, she turns deaf.

Britanica: Yeah.

Joanette: Mmm-hmm. But, luckily, she can still hear.

Britanica: Yeah. So she does Sign Language, ‘cuz it look good.

Dijonaise: Look, y’all, I can play a rainbow. [ signs for “rainbow” ]

Together: [ singing ] “Rain-bowwwwwww!”

Dijonaise: Ungawa!

[ dissolve to Diane Warren, Songwriter ]

Diane Warren: I had written “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing” from “Armageddon”, and “For You I Will” from “Space Jam”, and “Get Under the Table, Quick!” from “Twister”. Um.. so, when Brian approached me to work on the music from “Damn, My Dixie”, it was a no-brainer. I mean, to have the opportunity to work with such powerhouses as Gemini’s Twin. I immediately dashed to my drum machine and whipped out “Dance Nation Proclamation”.

[ dissolve to another scene from “Damn, My Dixie’s On Fire”, Ungawa doing sign language ]

Joanette: What is that deaf girl doin’ with her hands?

Britanica: Girl, I think she’s saying her man is cheatin’ on her!

Joanette: Oohh.. and you know what I say when there’s cheatin’.

Dijonaise: Frankly, my girl..

Together: ..we don’t give a damn!!

[ they drop their big skirts and break into dance moves ]

Joanette: [ singing ]“You bin throwin’ orders like you were some boss
Now you ain’t gettin’ none of this barbecue sauce!”

Britanica:
“You bin actin’ all cruel, you bin mean
So you’d better keep your corn out of my baked beans!”

Dijoanise:
“Puttin’ on your cheese like you was a yuppie
Boy, you better watch out, I’m gonna kick you in the..”

Together: “Hush puppies!

Yeah!

“You bin actin’ like a jerk, what in tarnation
My daddy’s gonna throw your butt off of this plantation!

Goin’ down south-south-south-south
Goin’ down south-south-south-south
Goin’ down south-south-south-south
Goin’ down south-south-south-south..”

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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