SNL Transcripts: The Rock: 04/13/02


Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

April 13th, 2002

The Rock

Andrew W.K.

None

Andrew W.K., “Party Hard”

  • A Message From the President of the United States

    President Bush (Will Ferrell) offers horny men and women for suicide bombers.

    Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.

  • The Rock’s Monologue

    Rock regrets daring Chris Kattan to punch him in the face.

  • Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet

    Brian Fellow (Tracy Morgan) thinks parrot is trying to impersonate him.

    Recurring Characters: Brian Fellow.

  • The Scorpion King

    Scorpion King’s (Rock) son (Seth Meyers) longs to be accepted by his father.

  • Arthur Anderson Ad

    Arthur Anderson firm can help people avoid paying their taxes.

  • Hardball

    Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) continues to make fun of his guests.

    Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Paul Begalia.

  • Drunk Girl

    Drunk Girl (Jeff Richards) and friend (Rock) wander through Studio 8-H.

    Recurring Characters: Drunk Girl.

  • The Subway

    Via song, passenger (Maya Rudolph) and derelict (Tracy Morgan) insult one another.

  • The Girl With No Gaydar

    Nicole (Rachel Dratch) doesn’t realize she’s looking for men in gay bar.

    Recurring Characters: Nicole.

  • Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

    Gene Shalit makes puns to describe attack on his house by bears.

    Recurring Characters: Gene Shalit.

  • Andrew W.K. performs “Party Hard”

  • All Aboard the Freedom Train: The Duets of Bigfoot & Neil Diamond

    Bigfoot (Rock) has recorded cover album with Neil Diamond (Will Ferrell).

    Recurring Characters: Neil Diamond.

  • America Undercover

    White trash couple (Chris Kattan, Amy Poehler) fight doctors in hospital.

  • Andrew W.K. performs “I Get Wet”

  • A Message From “Saturday Night Live”

    Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, Tracy Morgan perform a new ditty.

    SNL Transcripts

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