TV Funhouse

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01s: Kirsten Dunst / Eminem

TV Funhouse

Vocie of Bambi…..Amy Poehler
Voice of Thumper…..David Spade
…..Jared Fogel


Announcer: The beloved Disney classic is going away.

[ stock footage of Bambi’s mom being shot ]

Announcer: Walt Disney’s “Bambi” is going into the Disney vault for ten years, depriving your child or future children of this significant emotional milestone.

[ stock footage of Bambi’s mom being shot ]

Announcer: After May 27th, “Bambi” will be taken out of stores, placed in a security box, and frozen next to Walt Disney’s head. But there’s more news!

Announcer: On the heels of “Peter Pan: Return To Never Never Land”, “Cinderella II”, “Lady & The Tramp II”, and “Pokahotass”, Disney presents.. “Bambi 2002”.

[ footage shows Bambi talking to bandage-wrapped Mom ]

Bambi: Mother! You’re okay!

Bambi’s Mother: [ chuckling ] It’s just a leg wound, Son.

[ Bambi dodges hunter’s bullet a la “The Matrix” ]

Announcer: Bambi and the gang are back in business, and the forest has never been more fun.

Bambi: [ rapping ]“I’m rappin’ Bambi
I’m here to say
I’m the breakfast of the forest every day!
I’ve got Flower, and Thumper
by my side
And I know how to kick!”

[ show Bambi and friends kicking on Osama bin Laden ]

Announcer: With high-powered Disney action!

Forest Animals: USA!! USA!! USA!!

Announcer: And all new hilarious Disney outtakes.

Bambi: We’ve got to find Thumper in the brair patch.. briar patch! Oh f–k this bulls–t!

Announcer: With David Spade as the sassy new Thumper!

Thumper: Yeah-ha-ha! Spin Thumper, and we’ll see! [ jumps into hole ]

Announcer: And Jared from the subway ads!

[ Jared and a bird hold out his fat pants in front of Bambi ]

Jared: Bambi, if I can lose weight.. you can get those terrorists!

[ show Bambi superimposed over a Yankees game ]

Announcer: Plus, the New York Yankees!

Bambi: Good work, guys! Let’s go!

[ show Bambi superimposed over a Miss Cleo commercial ]

Announcer: Walt Disney’s “Bambi 2002”! Rushed out in time for summer, with all the excitement you could ask for from the Disney sequel and the Disney animators, under the circumstances.

[ show Bambi cartoon image with human lip cutout speaking ]

Bambi: Boy, oh boy! Who’s gonna protect the forest from all these weapons!

Announcer: It’s all the Bambi you’ll get for ten years! “Bambi 2002”!

[ show Bambi’s Mom being handled by masseuse ]

Bambi: Come on, Mom! Do your exercises!

Announcer: Available on Disney DVD for only 48 hours – then all master tapes, cels and drawings will be destroyed, as if it never happened. Get it.

[ show Bambi superimposed in scene from “Shrek” ]

Bambi: Quit sulking, Shrek! Get ogre it!

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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