TV Funhouse
Vocie of Bambi…..Amy Poehler
Voice of Thumper…..David Spade
…..Jared Fogel
Announcer: The beloved Disney classic is going away.
Announcer: Walt Disney’s “Bambi” is going into the Disney vault for ten years, depriving your child or future children of this significant emotional milestone.
[ stock footage of Bambi’s mom being shot ]Announcer: After May 27th, “Bambi” will be taken out of stores, placed in a security box, and frozen next to Walt Disney’s head. But there’s more news!
Announcer: On the heels of “Peter Pan: Return To Never Never Land”, “Cinderella II”, “Lady & The Tramp II”, and “Pokahotass”, Disney presents.. “Bambi 2002”.
[ footage shows Bambi talking to bandage-wrapped Mom ]Bambi: Mother! You’re okay!
Bambi’s Mother: [ chuckling ] It’s just a leg wound, Son.
Announcer: Bambi and the gang are back in business, and the forest has never been more fun.
Bambi: [ rapping ]“I’m rappin’ Bambi
I’m here to say
I’m the breakfast of the forest every day!
I’ve got Flower, and Thumper
by my side
And I know how to kick!”
Announcer: With high-powered Disney action!
Forest Animals: USA!! USA!! USA!!
Announcer: And all new hilarious Disney outtakes.
Bambi: We’ve got to find Thumper in the brair patch.. briar patch! Oh f–k this bulls–t!
Announcer: With David Spade as the sassy new Thumper!
Thumper: Yeah-ha-ha! Spin Thumper, and we’ll see! [ jumps into hole ]
Announcer: And Jared from the subway ads!
[ Jared and a bird hold out his fat pants in front of Bambi ]Jared: Bambi, if I can lose weight.. you can get those terrorists!
[ show Bambi superimposed over a Yankees game ]Announcer: Plus, the New York Yankees!
Bambi: Good work, guys! Let’s go!
[ show Bambi superimposed over a Miss Cleo commercial ]Announcer: Walt Disney’s “Bambi 2002”! Rushed out in time for summer, with all the excitement you could ask for from the Disney sequel and the Disney animators, under the circumstances.
Bambi: Boy, oh boy! Who’s gonna protect the forest from all these weapons!
Announcer: It’s all the Bambi you’ll get for ten years! “Bambi 2002”!
[ show Bambi’s Mom being handled by masseuse ]Bambi: Come on, Mom! Do your exercises!
Announcer: Available on Disney DVD for only 48 hours – then all master tapes, cels and drawings will be destroyed, as if it never happened. Get it.
[ show Bambi superimposed in scene from “Shrek” ]Bambi: Quit sulking, Shrek! Get ogre it!
