01t: Winona Ryder / Moby


…..Ana Gasteyer
…..Maya Rudolph
…..Winona Ryder
…..Amy Poehler

Ana Gasteyer: I deserve a younger me..

Voiceover: Botox.

Maya Rudolph: I’m not ready to lose my.. “wow”!

Voiceover: Botox.

Winona Ryder: I want a paralyzed face, but I’m too young for a stroke.

Voiceover: Botox.

Ana Gasteyer: It gently smoothes away wrinkles the natural way.

Amy Poehler: By crippling the nervous tissue in your face.

Maya Rudolph: With a diluted strain of deadly bacteria.

Voiceover: Deadly bacteria.

Winona Ryder: It’s like a little stroke you shoot into your head with a needle. I like that.

Maya Rudolph: If someone told you all you had to do to get younger-looking skin was to inject a syringe full of military-grade neurotoxin into your face every three weeks.. wouldn’t you do it?

Ana Gasteyer: Of course, you would! [ needle is inserted into her forehead ]

Amy Poehler: Poison to the face – why didn’t they think of this before? [ chuckles with delight as needle is injected into her forehead ]

Maya Rudolph: Botox. It’s not just for ethnic cleansing any more. [ needles are injected into her forehead and chin ]

Voiceover: Botox. Ask your doctor.

[ four women are seen drooling at the mouth from the poison injections ]

Winona Ryder: [ mumbling ] Botox. A younger-looking you is just a needle full of poison to the face away.

SNL Transcripts

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