01t: Winona Ryder / Moby


…..Ana Gasteyer
…..Maya Rudolph
…..Winona Ryder
…..Amy Poehler

Ana Gasteyer: I deserve a younger me..

Voiceover: Botox.

Maya Rudolph: I’m not ready to lose my.. “wow”!

Voiceover: Botox.

Winona Ryder: I want a paralyzed face, but I’m too young for a stroke.

Voiceover: Botox.

Ana Gasteyer: It gently smoothes away wrinkles the natural way.

Amy Poehler: By crippling the nervous tissue in your face.

Maya Rudolph: With a diluted strain of deadly bacteria.

Voiceover: Deadly bacteria.

Winona Ryder: It’s like a little stroke you shoot into your head with a needle. I like that.

Maya Rudolph: If someone told you all you had to do to get younger-looking skin was to inject a syringe full of military-grade neurotoxin into your face every three weeks.. wouldn’t you do it?

Ana Gasteyer: Of course, you would! [ needle is inserted into her forehead ]

Amy Poehler: Poison to the face – why didn’t they think of this before? [ chuckles with delight as needle is injected into her forehead ]

Maya Rudolph: Botox. It’s not just for ethnic cleansing any more. [ needles are injected into her forehead and chin ]

Voiceover: Botox. Ask your doctor.

[ four women are seen drooling at the mouth from the poison injections ]

Winona Ryder: [ mumbling ] Botox. A younger-looking you is just a needle full of poison to the face away.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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