Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 28: Episode 1
The NRA II
Hunter #1…..Horatio Sanz
Hunter #2…..Jimmy Fallon
Carrot Top…..Seth Meyers
[ open on two hunters squatting behind marsh weeds, still looking for potential kills ]
Hunter #2: I don’t think we’re gonna get anything else.
Hunter #1: You wanna call it a day?
Hunter #2: Ah, hang on.. I got one more idea.. Hey, what’s the best way to make a collect call?
Hunter #1: I don’t know..
[ Carrot Top suddnely surfaces from the weeds, clutching a pay phone ]
Carrot Top: Hey, big game hunters!! Fixin’ to make a collect call?! Then make sure you dial 1-800-CALL-ATT!
[ Hunter #1 raises his gun, Carrot Top cowers in sudden fear ]
Hunter #2: Dude! Wait! [ a beat ] Remember to take the safety off.
Hunter #1: Right.
[ the hunters fire their guns at Carrot Top ]
Carrot Top V/O: Hey! You guys owe me a new phone!
Announcer: Remember to take the safety off. A friendly reminder from the National Rifle Association.
[ fade ]