SNL Transcripts: Matt Damon: 10/05/02: The NRA II


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 28: Episode 1

02a: Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band


Hunter #1…..Horatio Sanz
Hunter #2…..Jimmy Fallon
Carrot Top…..Seth Meyers

[ open on two hunters squatting behind marsh weeds, still looking for potential kills ]

Hunter #2: I don’t think we’re gonna get anything else.

Hunter #1: You wanna call it a day?

Hunter #2: Ah, hang on.. I got one more idea.. Hey, what’s the best way to make a collect call?

Hunter #1: I don’t know..

[ Carrot Top suddnely surfaces from the weeds, clutching a pay phone ]

Carrot Top: Hey, big game hunters!! Fixin’ to make a collect call?! Then make sure you dial 1-800-CALL-ATT!

[ Hunter #1 raises his gun, Carrot Top cowers in sudden fear ]

Hunter #2: Dude! Wait! [ a beat ] Remember to take the safety off.

Hunter #1: Right.

[ the hunters fire their guns at Carrot Top ]

Carrot Top V/O: Hey! You guys owe me a new phone!

Announcer: Remember to take the safety off. A friendly reminder from the National Rifle Association.

[ fade ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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