SNL Transcripts: Sarah Michelle Gellar: 10/12/02



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 28: Episode 2


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


October 12th, 2002

Sarah Michelle Gellar

Faith Hill

None

Jim Downey
A Message From the President of the United StatesSummary: President Bush (Chris Parnell) warns Saddam Hussein of his intentions.

Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush, Dick Cheney.

Transcript

MontageNote: Sen. John McCain was booked to host this week’s episode, but had to postpone it for a week because of a scheduling conflict.

Sarah Michelle Gellar’s MonologueSummary: A vampire (Chris Kattan) in the audience is unappreciative of Sarah Michelle Gellar’s snide “Buffy the Vampire slayer” reference.

Transcript

Swiffer SleepersSummary: Kids can help keep the house clean with specially-designed dustcloth pajamas.

Transcript

The Be Safe GangSummary: Policeman (Fred Armisen) advises kids to use their bodies to protect themselves.

Transcript

Musical DentistSummary: Dr. Kaplan (Chris Kattan) dreams of his hygienist (Sarah Michelle Gellar) while operating.

Transcript

Trans American AirlinesSummary: Unlike other airlines, Trans America guarantees racial profiling.

Transcript

Corona ISummary: A drunk guy (Jimmy Fallon) vacationing on the beach accidentally tosses a beer bottle instead of his buzzing cellphone.

Transcript

Saddam Hussein BriefingSummary: Saddam Hussein (Darrell Hammond) outlines his strategy with his cabinet, then introduces his secret doubles (Chris Kattan, Horatio Sanz).

Recurring Characters: Saddam Hussein.

Transcript

Corona IISummary: A drunk guy (Jimmy Fallon) vacationing on the beach once again accidentally tosses a beer bottle instead of his buzzing cellphone.

Transcript

Faith Hill performs “Cry”

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Steven, the annoying Dell kid (Seth Meyers), comments on teen depression. Tina Fey supports the downfall of the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle. Ripple (Maya Rudolph) & Delorian Ramada (Sarah Michelle Gellar) are unglamorous jet-setters in the Hilton mold.

Transcript

Making the VideoSummary: Christina Aguilera (Sarah Michelle Gellar) documents the making of her new trashy video.

Note: Christina Aguilera

Transcript

Arli$$Summary: Sarah Michelle Gellar promotes “Arli$$” on DVD because not laughing while watching it can prevent embarrassing pants-wetting. Afterwards, Tracy Morgan tries to engage Gellar and Faith Hill in a catfight designed for his own personal amusement.

Transcript

Faith Hill performs “I’m Free”

“I Love My Man”Summary: A sexy woman (Maya Rudolph) knows just how her man (Tracy Morgan) feels about her.

Transcript

Corona IIISummary: A drunk guy (Jimmy Fallon) vacationing on the beach once again accidentally hits a passing stranger when he tosses a beer bottle.

Transcript

Blame SaddamSummary: Saddam Hussein might not be responsible for 9/11, but Americans don’t mind using that as a reason to be pissed off at him just the same.

Transcript

Sexual Harrassment SeminarSummary: Merv the Perv (Chris Parnell) disrupts a sexual harrassment seminar to hit on the women that are present.

Recurring Characters: Merv the Perv.

Transcript

Goodnights

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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