Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 28: Episode 2
Unemployed Man #1…..Chris Parnell
College Graduate…..Sarah Michelle Gellar
Unemployed Man #2…..Will Forte
Unemployed Woman…..Amy Poehler
Black Man…..Tracy Morgan
Union Worker…..Jeff Richards
Announcer: The American people have spoken:
Unemployed Man: I worked hard all my life. I kept my mouth shut, and paid my taxes. And now, all I have to show for it is a pink slip from Tyco and a looted retirement fund. You can’t get away with that, Saddam.
College Graduate: Eight years of higher education? Sixty-grand in student loans? And now, the job that Alcoa recruited me for just isn’t there any more? Why, Saddam? Why?
Unemployed Man #2: Sure, my broker said eToys sounds like a real cash cow. Your kids won’t even ask where their college funds went, when you’re all rolling in it. Damn you, Saddam!
Unemployed Woman: I thought I was safe. I mean, Saddam would have to take down the whole company to get to me, right? I worked for Enron. When are we gonna take a stand?
Black Man: You can’t threaten my way of life any more, Saddam!
Announcer: Resolve..[ show Union Worker holding up an “Unfair” sign ]
Union Worker: We shut down the whole west coast, so our government would do the right thing – and nail Saddam!
Announcer: Saddam, America is pissed off. Maybe not at you. But you’ll do.