SNL Transcripts: Sarah Michelle Gellar: 10/12/02: Corona I


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 28: Episode 2

02b: Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill

Corona I

Craig…..Jimmy Fallon
Voice of Wife…..Amy Poehler

[ open on couple sitting in beach chairs along the ocean; Craig snores, as his cell phone begins to ring ] [ Craig reaches for his cell phone, but drunkenly throws his beer bottle into the ocean instead ]

Craig: [ groggy, laughing ] Du-u-u-de! I just threw my beer into the ocean!

Wife: [ sighs ]

Craig: I was gonna throw my phone into the ocean!

Wife: Are you retarded? I just bought you that phone.

Craig: What-ever! My boss is a douche!

Wife: Craig, you install car stereos. Why would your boss be calling you?

Craig: Yeah, well.. the guy is a douche!

Wife: Yeah, well.. you’re really drunk.

[ Craig takes a remaining swig from one of his bottles of beer, then looks frantically for more ] [ Waiter passes on the sand ]

Craig: [ snapping fingers ] Señor! Waiter! Uh.. mas cervezas, por favor! Guy!

Wife: Craig.

Craig: Beer here! Please!

[ SUPER: “Miles away from sober.” ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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