SNL Transcripts: Sarah Michelle Gellar: 10/12/02: Corona I


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 28: Episode 2

02b: Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill

Corona I

Craig…..Jimmy Fallon
Voice of Wife…..Amy Poehler

[ open on couple sitting in beach chairs along the ocean; Craig snores, as his cell phone begins to ring ] [ Craig reaches for his cell phone, but drunkenly throws his beer bottle into the ocean instead ]

Craig: [ groggy, laughing ] Du-u-u-de! I just threw my beer into the ocean!

Wife: [ sighs ]

Craig: I was gonna throw my phone into the ocean!

Wife: Are you retarded? I just bought you that phone.

Craig: What-ever! My boss is a douche!

Wife: Craig, you install car stereos. Why would your boss be calling you?

Craig: Yeah, well.. the guy is a douche!

Wife: Yeah, well.. you’re really drunk.

[ Craig takes a remaining swig from one of his bottles of beer, then looks frantically for more ] [ Waiter passes on the sand ]

Craig: [ snapping fingers ] Señor! Waiter! Uh.. mas cervezas, por favor! Guy!

Wife: Craig.

Craig: Beer here! Please!

[ SUPER: “Miles away from sober.” ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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