SNL Transcripts: Sarah Michelle Gellar: 10/12/02: Corona I

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 28: Episode 2

02b: Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill

Corona I

Craig…..Jimmy Fallon
Voice of Wife…..Amy Poehler

[ open on couple sitting in beach chairs along the ocean; Craig snores, as his cell phone begins to ring ] [ Craig reaches for his cell phone, but drunkenly throws his beer bottle into the ocean instead ]

Craig: [ groggy, laughing ] Du-u-u-de! I just threw my beer into the ocean!

Wife: [ sighs ]

Craig: I was gonna throw my phone into the ocean!

Wife: Are you retarded? I just bought you that phone.

Craig: What-ever! My boss is a douche!

Wife: Craig, you install car stereos. Why would your boss be calling you?

Craig: Yeah, well.. the guy is a douche!

Wife: Yeah, well.. you’re really drunk.

[ Craig takes a remaining swig from one of his bottles of beer, then looks frantically for more ] [ Waiter passes on the sand ]

Craig: [ snapping fingers ] Señor! Waiter! Uh.. mas cervezas, por favor! Guy!

Wife: Craig.

Craig: Beer here! Please!

[ SUPER: “Miles away from sober.” ]

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