Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 28: Episode 2
Voice of Wife…..Amy Poehler
[ open on couple still sitting in beach chairs along the ocean; Craig still snoring as his cell phone rings once more ] [ Craig reaches for his cell phone, but drunkenly throws a bottle toward the ocean, hitting a passerby smack in the head ]
Wife: I can’t believe you just did that!
Wife: You hit that guy in the head! He could have, like, brain damage, or something.
Craig: [ groggy ] Well.. tell my peckerwood boss to stop calling me!
Wife: Craig, your boss is not calling — [ police enter the scene ] Oh, my God.. the police..
Craig: [ snoring ]
Wife: Craig.. Craig, let’s go..
Craig: Where..? Senor Phrogg’s..?
Wife: Craig, let’s go!
Craig: Alright.. let me get my brews..[ SUPER: “Miles away from sober.” ]