Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 28: Episode 4
November 2nd, 2002
Giuliani’s Endorsement AdsSummary: Rudolph Giuliani (Darrell Hammond) pre-records campaign endorsements.
Recurring Characters: Rudolph Giuliani.
Eric McCormack’s MonologueSummary: When audience members think Eric McCormack is gay in real-life, he performs a musical number in order to prove them wrong.
The BachelorSummary: One-legged Amber (Amy Poehler) wants to be bachelor Aaron’s (Eric McCormack) wife.
Recurring Characters: Amber.
Game NightSummary: Rachel (Rachel Dratch) goes on a rampage when she loses a game of Celebrity.
Talarico For CongressSummary: Andy Talarico (Chris Kattan) advises voters to call Ellen Frenkel (Rachel Dratch).
Frankel For CongressSummary: Ellen Frenkel (Rachel Dratch) tells voters to call Andy Talarico (Chris Kattan).
American MorningSummary: The morning news takes a back seat when Paula Zahn (Tina Fey) falls in love with her co-host, Brent Dunlop (Eric McCormack).
Recurring Characters: Paula Zahn.
Fairness in Attack AdsSummary: Call Ellen Frankel (Rachel Dratch), not Andy Talarico (Chris Kattan).
Jay-Z & Lenny Kravitz perform “Guns & Roses”
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Gene Shalit (Horatio Sanz) makes bad puns for the movies he didn’t like. A desktop dance rap is performed by Jay-Z crew member Baby K (Jeff Richards).
Recurring Characters: Gene Shalit, Baby K.
The BullhornSummary: A judge (Will Forte) is angered when a defendant (Eric McCormack) repeatedly interrupts trial proceeings by blaring multiple bullhorns.
VerizonSummary: Andy Talarico’s (Chris Kattan) phones have been disconnected.
Z105Summary: Councilman Bill Gik (Eric McCormack) is unable to get a word in while a guest on multi-character disc jockey Joey Mack’s (Jimmy Fallon) morning zoo.
Recurring Characters: Joey Mack.
John Hancock Life InsuranceSummary: Insurance packages that specialize in the most extreme worst-case scenarios.
Jay-Z & Beyonce perform “03 Bonnie & Clyde”
Jackass: The MusicalSummary: An actor portrays Johnny Knoxville (Eric McCormack) in a traditional musical performance, complete with puke.
Reggie’s StoriesSummary: Barmaid (Maya Rudolph) sets Reggie (Tracy Morgan) straight on his tall-tale stories.