SNL Transcripts: Nia Vardalos: 11/09/02

Air Date:


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November 9th, 2002

Nia Vardalos



  • A Message From the President of the United States

    President Bush (Chris Parnell) uses fuzzy math to record Republican election wins.

    Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.

  • Nia Vardalos’ Monologue

    Tina Fey introduces Vardalos to her Greek family.

  • Swiffer Sleepers

    (Rerun) See: 10/12/02.

  • Bloater Brothers

    Kip (Jimmy Fallon) & Wayne (Chris Parnell) hit on woman (Vardalos) at sushi bar.

    Recurring Characters: Kip Bloater, Wayne Bloater.

  • CBS Special Report

    Nerds have overtaken the cool kids in Douglas High student elections.

    Recurring Characters: Dan Rather.

  • La Femme Day Spa

    Spa matron (Vardalos) waxes patron’s (Rachel Dratch) stubborn hairs.

  • Eve performs “Gangsta Lovin'”

  • Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

    Tina Fey & Jimmy Fallon demonstrate sonar security system.

    Seth Meyers’ conversation if he’d gone to his 10-year high school reunion.

  • The Ferey Muhtar Talk Show

    Turkish actress (Vardalos) discusses calendar and night out dancing.

    Recurring Characters: Ferey Muhtar, Tariq Uzekiel.

  • The Falconer

    Falcon temporarily abandons Falconer (Will Forte) for the good life.

  • Pier 1

    Former spokesman Kirstie Alley (Vardalos) kidnaps businesswoman (Rachel Dratch).

  • Dropping the L.B.’s with Missy E.

    Missy Elliot (Tracy Morgan) workout helps drop a few pounds.

  • Eve performs “Satisfaction”

  • Glenda Goodwin: Attorney-at-Law

    Glenda Goodwin (Maya Rudolph) sues against unbelievable circumstances.

  • Community Accents

    Vasquez Gomez-Vasquez (Horatio Sanz) is easily distracted during issues forum.

  • Goodnights

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