Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 28: Episode 6
“Welcome Back, Potter”
Harry Potter…..Will Forte
[ show picture of Harry Potter, as a playful wizard youth ]
Voiceover: Harry Potter. For years, we delighted at his many adventures at Hogwart’s School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And while, time and again, young Harry escaped from dragons, trolls and evil sorcerors, there’s one thing even a boy wiard can’t escape from.. and that’s growing up.
[ show Harry grown-up, with a perm hairdo and frizzy moustache ]
Ye-e-esss, the years since leaving school have been kind to Harry. But they haven’t been quite so kind to Hogwart’s. Most people nowadays have written the place off, as a bad school in a bad neighborhood full of bad kids. But bad kids have dreams, too. That’s why Harry’s headed back to Hogwart’s. Only, this time, he’s the teacher.
[ cue Jingle ]
“Welcome back.. your dreams were your ticket out
Welcome back.. to the same old place that you laughed about.
Who’d have thought they’d lead ya
(Who’d have thought they’d lead ya)
Here where we need ya
(Here where we need ya)
Yeah, we tease him a lot
’cause he teaches wizardry in the ghetto
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.”
Announcer: “Welcome Back, Potter”. This Fall on the WB.
Second Announcer: Due to pending legal action, “Welcome Back, Potter” may be called “Honky In The Hood”.