December 7th, 2002
Robert De Niro
Magenta threat level issued due to lewdly-named terrorist suspects.
Recurring Characters: Tom Ridge.
De Niro compares his experiences doing dramas and comedies.
Excessive Big ‘N Tasty warnings for clueless fatties.
Thomas Jefferon (De Niro) falls for slave Sally Hemings (Maya Rudolph).
Veteran actor (De Niro) annoys cast by handling production his way.
Working as Santa Claus, actor (De Niro) argues with wife (Maya Rudolph) playing elf.
Weapons inspectors (De Niro, Jimmy Fallon) prove ineffective and gullible.
Judge Horace (Tracy Morgan) presides over fatty case with jive dialect.
Whitney Houston (Maya Rudolph) & Bobby Brown (Tracy Morgan) visit the Update desk.
Sylvia (Rachel Dratch) & Marty Feinblatt (Chris Kattan) on their ill-fated Disney cruise.
Celebrities visit Donatella Versace’s (Maya Rudolph) Chanukah celebration.
Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Ozzy Osbourne, Sharon Osbourne.
Used car salesman (De Niro) uses violence to make the hard sell.
Leslie’s (Chris Kattan) dad (De Niro) tells horrifying story about his mother.
General (De Niro) has bad ideas for stopping radioactive bear.