U.N. Weapons Inspectors


02g: Robert De Niro / Norah Jones

U.N. Weapons Inspectors

U.N. Weapons Inspector #1…..Jimmy Fallon
U.N. Weapons Inspector #2…..Robert De Niro
Iraqi Soldier…..Fred Armisen


[ open on footage of U.N. Weapons Inspector vehicles in action ]

Announcer: Watch out, Iraq – here.. they.. come!

[ show pair of U.N. Weapons Inspectors ]

U.N. Weapons Inspector #1: We’ll go anywhere, any time!

U.N. Weapons Inspector #2: And we won’t quit until the job.. is.. done!

Together: WE ARE..!!

[ SUPER appears ]

Announcer: “U.N. Weapons Inspectors”!

[ show exterior image of Al Sujud Palace ]

Announcer: Tonight’s episode: “Shottout At Al Sujud Palace”.

[ dissolve to U.N. Weapons Inspectors running to the palace door ]

Alright, let’s move! Unload the van, set up the gear! Signal HQ! Go, go, go!

U.N. Weapons Inspector #1: [ speaks into his headset ] Yeah, we’re here! They didn’t know we were coming, no.. we caught ’em ith their pants down!

U.N. Weapons Inspector #2: Alright, everyone, stay frosty – no heroics! [ bangs on door ] Open up now! Here we go..

[ the door opens, as Iraqi Soldier peers out ]

Iraqi Soldier: Yes?

U.N. Weapons Inspector #2: Is there weapons?

Iraqi Soldier: [ eyes shift back and forth quietly ] No.

U.N. Weapons Inspector #2: [ considers the answer ] Okay.

[ door closes, as the inspectors run off ]

Announcer: “U.N. Weapons Inspectors”. Keeping the peace.. for at least a few more months.

SNL Transcripts

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