U.N. Weapons Inspectors

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02g: Robert De Niro / Norah Jones

U.N. Weapons Inspectors

U.N. Weapons Inspector #1…..Jimmy Fallon
U.N. Weapons Inspector #2…..Robert De Niro
Iraqi Soldier…..Fred Armisen


[ open on footage of U.N. Weapons Inspector vehicles in action ]

Announcer: Watch out, Iraq – here.. they.. come!

[ show pair of U.N. Weapons Inspectors ]

U.N. Weapons Inspector #1: We’ll go anywhere, any time!

U.N. Weapons Inspector #2: And we won’t quit until the job.. is.. done!

Together: WE ARE..!!

[ SUPER appears ]

Announcer: “U.N. Weapons Inspectors”!

[ show exterior image of Al Sujud Palace ]

Announcer: Tonight’s episode: “Shottout At Al Sujud Palace”.

[ dissolve to U.N. Weapons Inspectors running to the palace door ]

Alright, let’s move! Unload the van, set up the gear! Signal HQ! Go, go, go!

U.N. Weapons Inspector #1: [ speaks into his headset ] Yeah, we’re here! They didn’t know we were coming, no.. we caught ’em ith their pants down!

U.N. Weapons Inspector #2: Alright, everyone, stay frosty – no heroics! [ bangs on door ] Open up now! Here we go..

[ the door opens, as Iraqi Soldier peers out ]

Iraqi Soldier: Yes?

U.N. Weapons Inspector #2: Is there weapons?

Iraqi Soldier: [ eyes shift back and forth quietly ] No.

U.N. Weapons Inspector #2: [ considers the answer ] Okay.

[ door closes, as the inspectors run off ]

Announcer: “U.N. Weapons Inspectors”. Keeping the peace.. for at least a few more months.

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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