Making Out Backstage
Al Gore: Lorne, have you seen Tipper?
Lorne Michaels: She just went to see.. if your guests got in okay.
Al Gore: That was more than ten minutes ago!
Lorne Michaels: It was five.
Al Gore: You don’t understand, Lorne – this isa the longest we’ve been apart!
Lorne Michaels: [ surprised ] Really?
Al Gore: And I don’t think I can do this show without her!
Lorne Michaels: Honestly.. I think it’s going to be fine.
[ Jimmy Fallon enters hallway ]
Jimmy Fallon: Hey, guys.
Al Gore: Jimmy, Jimmy! Have you seen my wife?
Jimmy Fallon: Uh, yeah.. I just passed her in the hallway.
Al Gore: Oh! Is she heading this way!
Jimmy Fallon: Maybe.. I don’t know..
Al Gore: [ flustered ] You don’t know??!! Look! You don’t understand! My wife is missing!
Jimmy Fallon: Here she is.
[ Tipper enters hallway ]
Tipper Gore: Hi. I got them in.
Al Gore: [ excited ] Tipper! [ rushes in and wraps Tipper in an extreme kiss ]
Jimmy Fallon: Look at that. Isn’t that nice?
Lorne Michaels: [ thinking ] It is.
Jimmy Fallon: They must really love each other. [ struggling to fill the awkward silence ] You don’t see many married couples this affectionate.
Lorne Michaels: No.. no, you don’t.
Jimmy Fallon: I think it’s nice.
[ they watch as Al and Tipper never come up for air ]
Jimmy Fallon: So, you going anywhere for the holiday?
Lorne Michaels: Um.. we’ll be in the city for Christmas, then out to the country. How about you?
Jimmy Fallon: I’m gonna go down to L.A. to take a meeting on a sitcom I’m doing next Fall.
Lorne Michaels: [ surprised ] You’re not coming back to the show?
Jimmy Fallon: Uh.. no.
Lorne Michaels: Really?
[ Chris Kattan and Maya Rudolph enter the hall, looking upon Al and Tipper ]
Chris Kattan: Ohh.. that is really sweet, isn’t it?
Lorne Michaels: Yeah.
Jimmy Fallon: I-I-I was thinking.. maybe we should try to get them to stop.
Lorne Michaels: I’m sure they’re just about finished.
[ Al and Tipper still don’t come up for air ]
Jimmy Fallon: I think we should try to get them to stop!
Lorne Michaels: [ nudging Al ] Al? Al? The thing is.. the show is about to start, so you might think about, maybe, wrapping it up..
Maya Rudolph: Hey, Lorne, is she alright?
Lorne Michaels: What do you mean?
Maya Rudolph: I mean, look at her – I don’t think she can breathe.
[ Tipper’s arms begin to flail in distress ]
Lorne Michaels: Al! You’ve got to stop. We’re worried about Tipper. Honestly. [ to Jimmy ] Jimmy, get Tracy. [ Jimmy runs down the hall ] We think you may be suffocating her, Al..
[ Maya grabs Tipper’s arm and feels for a pulse ]
Maya Rudolph: Hurry!! We’re losing her!!
Lorne Michaels: Al? Please, I’m begging you..
[ Tracy Morgan saunters into the hallway ]
Lorne Michaels: Tracy, have you got your tazer?
Tracy Morgan: Yep! Right here! [ pulls tazer out of jacket ] You giving me authoritization?
Lorne Michaels: [ confidently ] I am.
Tracy Morgan: Okay. Move back. Stand back. [ everyone moves aside ] Mr. Gore, sir! Let her go!
Lorne Michaels: Do it.
[ Tracy zaps Al Gore with the tazer ]
[ Al springs loose from Tipper, in a daze, then, realizing he’s not locked to her lips, returns to the exact same position as before ]
Tracy Morgan: Damn! Mother-!
[ Tracy zaps Al gain ]
Al Gore: Whe-whe-where am I..?
Lorne Michaels: Al, you’ve been hit by a tazer. You’ll be alright in a minute. Tipper, are you alright? Can you speak?
Tipper Gore: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday Night!“