The West Wing
[ Al Gore, still holding chihuahua from the “Politica Fiesta” sketch, and standing on the same set, steps forward to address the audience ]
Al Gore: Recently, I was out in Hollywood, and I had a chance to visit the set of my favorite TV show, “The West Wing”. I had the time of my life.[ fade to black, then pot up on exterior WB TV studio lot ] [ dissolve to interior, Oval Office set on “The West Wing” soundstage. Martin Sheen enters set with Al Gore following close behind ]
Martin Sheen: The set covers over two full sound stages, and it takes a crew of over 150 to run it every day.
Al Gore: [ impressed ] Wow! This is an exact replica! Actually dead-on. You know.. I spent a lot of time in the Oval Office, making important decisions with President Clinton.
Martin Sheen: Boy.. I can’t even imagine the enormous burdon of being President.
Al Gore: Yes. President and Vice-President. Say, um.. would you mind ig I, uh.. [ facing the “President”‘s desk ]
Martin Sheen: Oh, sure! Be my guest![ Al takes his seat in the “President”‘s chair, feeling very comfortable ]
Martin Sheen: I guess.. while you were Vice-President, you never actually.. got to sit in there?
Al Gore: [ not paying attention ] Sorry?
Martin Sheen: [ flustered ] I was just.. I guess.. you never actually sat in a president’s chair.
Al Gore: [ disillusioned ] No-o.. no, I did not.[ Allison Janney enters the set ]
Allison Janney: Martin? They’re ready for us.
Martin Sheen: Great! Oh, Allison. I’d like you yo meet Mr. Al Gore.
Allison Janney: [ excited ] It is so wonderful to meet you!
Al Gore: Oh, the pleasure is mine.
Martin Sheen: [ to Al ] You know, Allison and I are about ready to shoot a scene in the Roosevelt Room.
Allison Janney: It’s about global warming.
Al Gore: [ not wanting to leave ] I think I’ll just stay here for a few minutes.. and I’ll catch up with you.
Martin Sheen: [ starting to feel weird about having Al Gore on the set ] Sure.
Al Gore: Great!
Al Gore: [ picks up red phone ] Get me Putin! [ picks up red phone again ] Get me.. Putin. [ picks up red phone again ] Get me Putin.[ Martin Sheen re-enters set, with John Spencer in tow ]
Martin Sheen: Excuse me, sir. I’ve got someone who’s dying to meet you.
John Spencer: John Spencer, sir!
Al Gore: Of course! John! I’m a huge fan.
John Spencer: Thank you, sir.
Al Gore: Say, John.. could you do me a small favor?
John Spencer: Of course.
Al Gore: I’m gonna stand over here by the window, with my back to you. And I’d like you to.. step up to the desk and say, “Mr. President? The Joint Chiefs want an answer.”[ Spencer looks at Sheen with disturbed horror ]
John Spencer: Sure.[ Gore takes his place by the window ]
John Spencer: “Mr. President? The Joint Chiefs want an answer.”
Al Gore: [ turns dramatically to face Spencer ] “Tell them.. we’re going in!”
Martin Sheen: Anyway.. so.. we’re done for the day, and there’s a great sushi place right near the lot.
Al Gore: Can’t I just stay here?
John Spencer: The problem, sir, is that they.. kinda want to close down the studio.
Al Gore: Can’t I just lock up when I’m done? I’m not gonna take anything.
Martin Sheen: Uh.. suuure.. why not?
John Spencer: Yeah.
Allison Janney: Who is ready for mositashi?
John Spencer: He’s not coming.
Martin Sheen: He, uh.. wants to sit at the desk.. for a while.
Bradley Whitford: Well, he did win the Popular Vote.[ they all murmur in agreement about the fact, then big a collective “Good night” to Gore before making their exit from the set ]
Al Gore: Good night![ the studio lights come down, as gore leans back in the “President”‘s chair and stays through the night ] [ fade ]