Ray Liotta’s Monologue
Ray Liotta: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you very much, thank you very much! I gotta say, this week has been such a great experience! I mean, everyone here, they work so hard, it’s 24 hours ’round the clock, it’s up all night, it’s amazing, it is so cool! I’ve been hanging out with the entire cast the whole time – especially my man Jimmy! [ laughs ] Where is he? Where is he? [ looks to his right ] Hey! Jim-my! Jimmy Fallon! [ runs off-camera and pulls Jimmy Fallon into the shot ]
Jimmy Fallon: [ relunctant to join Liotta onstage ] How are ya’? Yeah, I gotta get going..
Ray Liotta: Man, we had fun last night, didn’t we?
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah.. yeah, right..
Ray Liotta: You left early, where’d you go?
Jimmy Fallon: It was 8 a.m. I went to sleep.
Ray Liotta: No, you didn’t! I waited for you in your apartment.
Jimmy Fallon: You were in my apartment?
Ray Liotta: Yeah, yeah! I busted the lock!
Jimmy Fallon: Sheesh..
Ray Liotta: I was waiting for you ’til, like, noon!
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah..
Ray Liotta: That’s a pretty long time to wait!
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah, I really gotta get going, Ray..
Ray Liotta: Okay, Jimbo. I’ll see you later. Hey! Have a good game!
Jimmy Fallon: Yeah. [ exits stage ]
Ray Liotta: You know what? I’m gonna get to know you people, too. We’re gonna be best friends. Just like me.. and Jimmy Fallon. Because I’m.. [ singing ] ..”Getting to know you.. getting to know al about you..” Hi! “Getting to like you.. getting to hope you like me.” [ approaches Tracy Morgan and Chris Kattan near a staircase set in the studio ] Ah! Tracy and Kattan – hey! What’s up, guys![ Tracy Morgan and Chris Kattan flee the stage ]
Whoa! Alright, catch you guys later! You know, this is fun. You know why? Because I’m.. [ singing as he walks up stairs set to audience ] ..”Getting to know you.. putting it my way, but nicely.. you are precisely, my cup of tea.” [ is now standing amongst the upper-level audience members ] Look at all these people, these great people! Hi-i-iii! [ turns to woman ] Hi, where are you from?
Woman in Audience: Um.. I’m from North Carolina.
Ray Liotta: That’s great! I’m from New Jersey!
Man in Audience: [ interrupting ] I’m from New Jersey, too!
Ray Liotta: [ angered, music stops ] Sir.. was I talking to you? Huh? Did I say one word to you?
Man in Audience: N-no-o..
Ray Liotta: Sooo, you should not talk. right, sir? right? Is that clear?
Man in Audience: I.. I-I’m sorry..
Ray Liotta: I said.. don’t talk! Okay! Now, everybody – I want everybody to sing with me! I mean this, okay! And.. [ singing ] ..”Getting to know you.. getting to know all about you. Getting to like you.. getting to hope you like me!” [ stops ] You know what? Jimmy. We gotta get Jimmy! Jimmy would love this! My friend Jimmy Fallon! Where’s my friend Jimmy Fallon?! Now, listen to me: when he cems out, everybody’s gotta sing even louder! Okay! Liuder, alright? Let me go find him![ Liotta runs back down to the first level, and searches backstage for Jimmy ]
Jimmy! Jimmy, where- oh, he’s probably in our favorite place! [ pulls back quick-dress curtain to reveal a laughing Jimmy Fallon ] Jimmy! Come on! Listen, everyone’s gonna sing here for us, okay?
Jimmy Fallon: Oh.. okay..
Ray Liotta: Ready? Everybody! And.. [ singing ] “Getting to know you.. getting to know all a-“ Come on! Come on! Sing!! “Getting to like you.. getting to hope you like me..” Shhhh.. “Haven’t you noticed.. suddenly I’m bright and bree-eezy. Because of.. all.. the.. beautiful and new.. things.. I’m.. learning about you.. dayyyy.. byyyy.. dayyyy..”
We’ve got a great show! The Donnas are here! So stick around, we’ll be right back!
Jimmy Fallon: [ excitedly ] He’s the best, we love him!
Ray Liotta: Shut up! [ punches Jimmy Fallon, knocks him to the ground ]