SNL Transcripts: Jennifer Garner: 02/15/03


Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

February 15th, 2003

Jennifer Garner



  • A Message From The President of the United States

    President Bush (Chris Parnell) has lost interest in disarming Iraq.

    Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.

  • Jennifer Garner’s Monologue

    Garner sings “My Funny Valentine” to would-be suitors among male cast members.

  • Clappin’

    On-stage dance craze of clappin’ receives positive audience response.

  • When The Lights Come Up

    Man’s (Jimmy Fallon) date (Garner) looks more pleasing in the dark.

  • Wake Up Wakefield

    Sheldon (Rachel Dratch) receives a surprise at after school Valentine’s Dance.

    Recurring Characters: Megan, Sheldon, Mr. Banglion.

  • Saddam calls Osama

    Saddam Hussein (Horatio Hanz) calls Osama bin Laden (Jimmy Fallon) and rambles.

    Recurring Characters: Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden.

  • Invitation To Love

    Actress (Garner) is frustrated during scene with gayish male lead (Chris Kattan).

  • Siamese Twins

    Roommates (Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan) have date with twins (Garner, Rachel Dratch).

  • Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

    Burt Bacharach (Jeff Richards) comments on Iraq with rhyming meters.

    Tracy Morgan’s Black History rant is interrupted by technical difficulties.

    Chris Parnell sings secret-agent rap ditty for Garner.

  • Beck performs “Lost Cause”

  • Michael Jackson In A Tree

    Liz Taylor (Rachel Dratch) tries to talk Jackson (Amy Poehler) down as UFO lands.

  • Beck performs “Guess I’m Doin’ Fine”

  • Wal-Mart Greeters

    Greeters (Garner, Amy Poehler) scare customers with descriptions of Wal-Mart’s size.

  • My Big Thick Novel

    Dead cells.

  • Goodnights

    SNL Transcripts

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    Author: Don Roy King

    Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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