Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 28: Episode 13
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
February 22nd, 2003
Christopher Walken
Foo Fighters
None
Steve Martin
Will Ferrell
Britney Spears
Jim Carrey
HardballSummary: Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) spars with French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin (Christopher Walken).
Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews.
Transcript
Montage
Christopher Walken’s MonologueSummary: Ever the traditionalist, Christopger Walken sings and dances for the audience’s delight.
Also Hosted: 89k, 92d, 95j, 99p, 00t.
Transcript
PrankstersSummary: Playful host Zach Ricky (Seth Meyers) is horrified when Larry Hobson (Christopher Walken), one of his older guests, presents a prank video in which he kills a co-worker with a tire iron in the name of a good laugh.
Recurring Characters: Zach Ricky.
Transcript
The ContinentalSummary: The Continental (Christopher Walken) lures a women into his penthouse apartment with the hopes of enticing her into becoming the spokesmodel for his new line of cosmetics.
Recurring Characters: The Continental.
Transcript
Life RaftSummary: Crazy Captain Tyus (Christopher Walken) wants to be leader of the men who are stranded on his life raft after surviving his boat’s crash upon an iceberg.
Transcript
African American ArchivesSummary: Don Cheadle (Dean Edwards) salutes Lucious Claymont (Tracy Morgan), the first black man to yell at the screen during a horror movie.
Recurring Characters: Don Cheadle.
Transcript
Colonel AngusSummary: Colonel Angus’ (Christopher Walken) return down South sparks quaint reflection from everyone at the plantation.
Transcript
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Christina Aguliera (Maya Rudolph) speaks her own language. Steve Martin makes a pointless cameo to fill air time. Will Ferrell announces that he’s now living on a farm with Britney Spears.
Recurring Characters: Christina Aguliera.
Transcript
Foo Fighters perform “All My Life”Also Appeared: 95g, 99d, 05e.
Love-ahsSummary: Roger (Will Ferrell) and Virginia Klarvin (Rachel Dratch) meet once again with Professor Walter (Christopher Walken).
Recurring Characters: Roger Klarvin, Virginia Klarvin, Walter.
Foo Fighters perform “Times Like These (One-Way Motorway)”Note: Jim Carrey joins the band and performs a guitar solo with his leg.
The Rialto GrandeSummary: Buddy Mills (Chris Kattan) jokes around with fellow comic Vic Lester (Christopher Walken).
Recurring Characters: Rodney “The Zipper” Calzoun, Buddy Mills, Mackey, cocktail waitresses.
GoodnightsTranscript
Dress Rehearsal Cuts
Antiques RoadshowSummary: Homeowner (Horatio Sanz) checks the value of a beer stein.
Second Time AroundSummary: Glenda Goodwin (Maya Rudolph) speaks with (Rachel Dratch) and (Christopher Walken).
Antiques Roadshow IISummary: Homemaker (Amy Poehler) checks the value of her family photo album.
TV FunhouseSummary: Rob Smigel presents another adventure with The X-Presidents.
African American Archives IIRecurring Characters: Don Cheadle.
Antiques Roadshow IIISummary: Man (Tracy Morgan) checks the value of a century-old corn dog.
Board MeetingSummary: Executive (Christopher Walken) is pre-occupied with the blossoming romance between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez during an important board meeting.
African American Archives IIISummary: Don Cheadle (Dean Edwards) salutes Mushmouth from the Fat Albert gang.
Recurring Characters: Don Cheadle.
The JukeboxSummary: A man (Christopher Walken) has reservations about what songs teenagers can play on his jukebox.
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