SNL Transcripts: Christopher Walken: 02/22/03

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 28: Episode 13

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:


February 22nd, 2003

Christopher Walken

Foo Fighters


Steve Martin

Will Ferrell

Britney Spears

Jim Carrey
HardballSummary: Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) spars with French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin (Christopher Walken).

Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews.



Christopher Walken’s MonologueSummary: Ever the traditionalist, Christopger Walken sings and dances for the audience’s delight.

Also Hosted: 89k, 92d, 95j, 99p, 00t.


PrankstersSummary: Playful host Zach Ricky (Seth Meyers) is horrified when Larry Hobson (Christopher Walken), one of his older guests, presents a prank video in which he kills a co-worker with a tire iron in the name of a good laugh.

Recurring Characters: Zach Ricky.


The ContinentalSummary: The Continental (Christopher Walken) lures a women into his penthouse apartment with the hopes of enticing her into becoming the spokesmodel for his new line of cosmetics.

Recurring Characters: The Continental.


Life RaftSummary: Crazy Captain Tyus (Christopher Walken) wants to be leader of the men who are stranded on his life raft after surviving his boat’s crash upon an iceberg.


African American ArchivesSummary: Don Cheadle (Dean Edwards) salutes Lucious Claymont (Tracy Morgan), the first black man to yell at the screen during a horror movie.

Recurring Characters: Don Cheadle.


Colonel AngusSummary: Colonel Angus’ (Christopher Walken) return down South sparks quaint reflection from everyone at the plantation.


Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Christina Aguliera (Maya Rudolph) speaks her own language. Steve Martin makes a pointless cameo to fill air time. Will Ferrell announces that he’s now living on a farm with Britney Spears.

Recurring Characters: Christina Aguliera.


Foo Fighters perform “All My Life”Also Appeared: 95g, 99d, 05e.

Love-ahsSummary: Roger (Will Ferrell) and Virginia Klarvin (Rachel Dratch) meet once again with Professor Walter (Christopher Walken).

Recurring Characters: Roger Klarvin, Virginia Klarvin, Walter.

Foo Fighters perform “Times Like These (One-Way Motorway)”Note: Jim Carrey joins the band and performs a guitar solo with his leg.

The Rialto GrandeSummary: Buddy Mills (Chris Kattan) jokes around with fellow comic Vic Lester (Christopher Walken).

Recurring Characters: Rodney “The Zipper” Calzoun, Buddy Mills, Mackey, cocktail waitresses.


Dress Rehearsal Cuts

Antiques RoadshowSummary: Homeowner (Horatio Sanz) checks the value of a beer stein.

Second Time AroundSummary: Glenda Goodwin (Maya Rudolph) speaks with (Rachel Dratch) and (Christopher Walken).

Antiques Roadshow IISummary: Homemaker (Amy Poehler) checks the value of her family photo album.

TV FunhouseSummary: Rob Smigel presents another adventure with The X-Presidents.

African American Archives IIRecurring Characters: Don Cheadle.

Antiques Roadshow IIISummary: Man (Tracy Morgan) checks the value of a century-old corn dog.

Board MeetingSummary: Executive (Christopher Walken) is pre-occupied with the blossoming romance between Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez during an important board meeting.

African American Archives IIISummary: Don Cheadle (Dean Edwards) salutes Mushmouth from the Fat Albert gang.

Recurring Characters: Don Cheadle.

The JukeboxSummary: A man (Christopher Walken) has reservations about what songs teenagers can play on his jukebox.

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