SNL Transcripts: Christopher Walken: 02/22/03: Christopher Walken’s Monologue

 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 28: Episode 13

02m: Christopher Walken / Foo Fighters

Christopher Walken’s Monologue

…..Christopher Walken

Christopher Walken: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

[ audience applauds wildly ]

You know.. this is..

[ audience seems unable to stop applauding; it’s Christopher Walken, after all ]

You know.. this is the part of the show.. where you can be.. yourself.. and do whatever you want. Hit it!

[ the SNL Band strikes up a tune behind Walken, as he sings and dances for the audience’s delight ] [singing, and dancing ]“I know why I waited
Know why I’ve been blue.
Prayed each night for someone
Exactly like you!

Why should we spend money
on a show or two?
No one does those love scenes
exactly like you!

Now, I know my mother
taught me to be true
She meant me for someone
exactly like you!”

[ stops singing, returns to his speech ]

You see.. we tried.. all week..

[ audience explodes with applause ]

All week, we tried to think of something to do at the top of the show, and couldn’t. Then, I thought.. I’ve done the show six times, just.. get it over with! I can do crazy mix-em-ups. Whatever I want! I can tap dance.

[ moves his feet rapidly, in an effort to keep up with the tap-dancing sound effects ]

And then I remembered.. what always works: Girls!!

[ Las Vegas-style showgirls surround Walken and dance, as he continues his song ]

“I know my mother
taught me to be true
She meant me for someone
exactly like you!”

[ to the showgirls ] Thank you, and you.. [ faces the audience ] We got a great show for you. Foo Fighters are here. So.. stick around.. we’ll be right back.

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