Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 28: Episode 13
02m: Christopher Walken / Foo Fighters
Christopher Walken’s Monologue
…..Christopher Walken
Christopher Walken: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
[ audience applauds wildly ]You know.. this is..
[ audience seems unable to stop applauding; it’s Christopher Walken, after all ]You know.. this is the part of the show.. where you can be.. yourself.. and do whatever you want. Hit it!
Know why I’ve been blue.
Prayed each night for someone
Exactly like you!
Why should we spend money
on a show or two?
No one does those love scenes
exactly like you!
Now, I know my mother
taught me to be true
She meant me for someone
exactly like you!”
You see.. we tried.. all week..
[ audience explodes with applause ]All week, we tried to think of something to do at the top of the show, and couldn’t. Then, I thought.. I’ve done the show six times, just.. get it over with! I can do crazy mix-em-ups. Whatever I want! I can tap dance.
[ moves his feet rapidly, in an effort to keep up with the tap-dancing sound effects ]And then I remembered.. what always works: Girls!!
“I know my mother
taught me to be true
She meant me for someone
exactly like you!”