SNL Transcripts: Salma Hayek: 03/15/03


Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:
March 15th, 2003

Salma Hayek

Christina Aguilera

Edward Norton

  • Bush Press Conference

    President George W. Bush (Chris Parnell) takes questions from magazines.

    Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.

  • Salma Hayek’s Monologue

    Chris Kattan and back-up 80’s band sing “We Belong” to Hayek.

  • Top O’ The Morning

    William’s (Seth Meyers) Mexican girlfriend (Hayek) clashes with show.

    Recurring Characters: Patrick Fitzwilliams, William Fitzpatrick.

  • TV Funhouse

    Classic cartoon characters compete on “Are You Hot?”

  • Versace Oscar Special

    Versace (Maya Rudolph) dishes on Oscar fashion diasters.

    Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Michael Jackson.

  • The Box

    Hiding in box, husband (Will Forte) catches wife (Hayek) with lover (Jimmy Fallon).

  • Frida I

    Hayek lambastes “Chicago” for plaigerizing the Broadway musical.

  • Christina Aguilera performs “Beautiful”

  • Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

    Ferecito (Fred Armisen) & wife (Hayek) practice their new comedy routine.

    Aril Lavigne (Amy Poehler) makes her punk presence known during visit.

    Gollum (Chris Kattan) makes his own unique Oscar picks.

    Jimmy Fallon sings Top 40-inspired St. Patrick’s Day songs.

  • Seduction Class

    Sexy teacher (Hayek) helps adult students become bolder with their presence.

    Recurring Characters: Gabe Fisher, Ruth Weinstock, A.J., Vasquez Gomez-Vasquez.

  • Frida II

    Hayek lambastes “Chicago” for supporting terrorism.

  • The Channel 5 Late Night Movie

    Downstairs couple (Hayek, Tracy Morgan) deal with King Kong’s dong.

  • Christian Aguilera performs “Fighter”

  • Frida III

    “Chicago” defends itself, but Hayek spreads slander further.

  • Goodnights

    SNL Transcripts

    • Author: Don Roy King

    Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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