Announcer: [ over slideshow of scenes from “Chicago” ] Recently, actress Salma Hayek has taken it upon herself to launch a smear campaign against the movie “Chicago”. Her statements have been so outrageous and false, the producers of “Chicago” find it necessary to respond.
First of all: The movie “Chicago” does not support terrorism.
Second: Renee Zelwegger was born a woman, and has always been a woman.
Third: Richard Gere is a practicing Buddhist, not a procticing rapist.
That said, we’d like to extend our-[ Salma Hayek cuts into the commercial, standing in front of a close-up of Renee Zelwegger’s crotch ]
Salma Hayek: Don’t let her fool you! Loo very closely at her crotch! You can see her cojones right there! She can’t win Best Actress! She’s a dude! Don’t believe the lies! Vote for “Frida”!
Announcer: Most of this paid for by the cast and crew of “Vhicago”. That one part paid for by Salma Hayek, with some crumpled-up cash and a money order.