02o: Salma Hayek / Christina Aguilera
Versace Oscar Special
Donatella Versace…..Maya Rudolph
Adrianna…..Salma Hayek
Joel Royce…..Amy Poehler
Ricardo Ferost…..Fred Armisen
Michael Jackson…..Dean Edwards
…..Christina Aguilera
Announcer: Versace
extravagance
decadence
Donatella Versace
(SUPER: Versace Oscar Fashion Preview. Cut into a scene of four half naked studs carrying in Versace on a stretcher)
Donatella Versace: Ah hello everybody. It’s my Oscar Fashion Preview coming to you live from my boutique over Roseo Drive.
Adrianna: Hello Donatella.
Donatella Versace: Who the hell are you?!
Adrianna: Like I’ve told you the other fifty times we’ve met, I’m Adrianna, the head of operations for all of your stores in California.
Donatella Versace: Well, right now you’re the head of getting me some more champagne!
Adrianna: Boys! (She claps her hands and the guys light Versace a cigarette and fill her glass)
Donatella Versace: Mmm thank you. Now tell me again why I am her today?
Adrianna: Donatella, it’s time to pick the Oscar dresses for the actresses.
Donatella Versace: AAAHH!! Actresses!! Gross!!! (She tries to run away, but is grabbed by the nimble Adrianna) Let go bitch!
Adrianna: No, no, no, no, no, you have to work, we have work to do. (Continues to restrain Versace)
Donatella Versace: I’m not going to bitch, I’m serious!
Adrianna: Bitch, I’m more serious! (She gives Versace a huge slap)
Donatella Versace: (she recoils then faces back the audience, smiling) That was fantastic. Now tell me which ones are coming in, WHICH ONES!!!
(Adrianna grabs a notebook, opens it, and begins to read)
Adrianna: We have Meryl Streep.
Donatella Versace: Pantsuit.
Adrianna: Salma Hayek.
Donatella Versace: Sweater dress, off-the-shoulder, with “Donatella” written on the ass in sequins.
Adrianna: Nicole Kidman
Donatella Versace: Strapless leather micro-mini with peek-a-boo cutouts.
Adrianna: Kathy Bates
Donatella Versace: Douve cover! From the Versace home collection.
Adrianna: Sharon Stone
Versace: Straitjacket and tights.
(A guy and girl enter the boutique wearing secret-service-like headphones over their ears)
Joel: Hello, hi, we’re here to pick up a dress for Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Ricardo: Yeah, CZJ needs a gown.
Joel: (speaking into her headphone) Yeah, what? Catherine?
Ricardo: (also speaking into headphone) Perfect.
Joel: Zeta-Jones?
Ricardo: Sounds excellent
Joel: You got it.
Ricardo: That’s funny.
Joel: ZJ, that’s great.
Ricardo: Sure.
Joel: Certainly
Ricardo: Great idea.
Joel: Okay.
Ricardo: Brilliant.
(they stop speaking into the headphones)
Joel: Hi, I’m Joel Royce and this is, um
Ricardo: Hey, I’m Ricardo Ferost for Catherine Zeta-Jones’ people.
Donatella Versace: Great. You bitches put your heads together, eh?
Together: (obeying) Okay
Donatella Versace: Now take tiny, baby steps towards me.
Together: (coming forward) Alright
Donatella Versace: Little closer, a little closer. (Her head is millimeters away from theirs, she begins whispering) You tell that bitch that I need to see her pregnant Zeta-ass in person, but also tell that mofo that I love her so much, and when she comes back if she could just bring me a hotdog? Please? Just a small one with a little relish (directly into their ears) NOW GET OUT!!!
(They quickly retreat outside the boutique, just as Michael Jackson comes in)
Adrianna: Donatella, I don’t mean to alarm you, but Michael Jackson’s at the door.
Donatella Versace: Who??
Adrianna: Michael Jackson!
Donatella Versace: Oh no, that crazy bitch. What should we do? Hide?
Adrianna: No, that doesn’t work with him. Let’s pretend we’re mannequins!
Donatella Versace: Okay.
(They both position themselves into stylish model poses, Versace still with her cigarette and champagne bottle)
Michael Jackson: Hello? Yoo-hoo! YOO-HOO!! YOO-HOO!!! I wanna buy some stuff (fingering Adrianna’s hair) I wanna buy these two mannequins! Yoo-hoo!
Donatella Versace: (not moving from position) They’re not for sale!
Michael Jackson: Okay bye mannequins! Halloo! Bye HALLOO mannequins!! Bye mannequins HOO-HOO!!!
(They break their poses)
Adrianna: Okay, he’s gone.
Versace: Thank God.
Adriann: Thank God.
Donatella Versace: So what do we do now, fold sweaters?
Adrianna: No, we actually have to keep going over the dresses for the Oscars.
Donatella Versace: Alright.
(Christina Aguilera enters)
Christina Aguilera: Donatella! (singing) You are beautiful
Donatella Versace: Christina! (drunkenly singing) You are beautiful oh my God, I’m loving you! It’s the beautiful new face of Versace, Christina Aguilera! You are my baby, ah? Yes, I want to hold you in my arms and pat you on your little back like a tiny baby. Then I can burp you, and put a little powder on your bottom
Adrianna: (separating them) Don’t be a weirdo, Donatella.
Donatella Versace: Okay
Adrianna: Hi, Christina darling, what can we do for you?
Christina Aguilera: I’m actually going to an Oscar party, and I need something glamorous to wear.
Donatella Versace: Oh, anything for you, here you go. (She rips off her dress, revealing a white bra and what appears to be a puffy blue diaper, and gives it to Christina)
Christina Aguilera: Donatella, you dirty bitch! This is beautiful!
Donatella Versace: (waving her off) Ah you’re the beautiful bitch!
Adrianna: You’re both beautiful bitches! (she drapes her arms over both)
Donatella Versace: Ah we are all beautiful bitches, ah? Now let’s go to my private and jet and go to that fancy McDonald’s in Monte Carlo.
(They exit and the half-naked guys start dancing again while the SUPER: VERSACE’S OSCAR FASHION PREVIEW reappears)
Thanks to Minhquan Nguyen for this transcript!
Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Thank you, However I am encountering problems with your RSS. I don’t know the reason why I cannot join it. Is there anybody else having identical RSS issues? Anyone who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanks!!
Can I simply say what a relief to search out somebody who truly is aware of what theyre talking about on the internet. You positively know the right way to carry an issue to gentle and make it important. More people need to learn this and understand this aspect of the story. I cant believe youre not more standard because you undoubtedly have the gift.
so much wonderful info on here, : D.
This is the best blog for anybody who needs to find out about this topic. You understand so much its nearly onerous to argue with you (not that I actually would want…HaHa). You undoubtedly put a brand new spin on a subject thats been written about for years. Great stuff, just great!
Your perspective on this topic is very interesting. Thanks for the detailed explanation.
Hey! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone 4! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the outstanding work!
I have been browsing online more than three hours nowadays, but I by no means discovered any attention-grabbing article like yours. It is lovely worth sufficient for me. In my view, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content material as you probably did, the net will probably be a lot more useful than ever before.
Yet another issue is that video gaming became one of the all-time greatest forms of excitement for people of nearly every age. Kids enjoy video games, plus adults do, too. The particular XBox 360 is one of the favorite gaming systems for folks who love to have a lot of activities available to them, and also who like to play live with people all over the world. Thanks for sharing your opinions.
I got what you mean ,bookmarked, very decent site.
some really choice content on this internet site, saved to bookmarks.
F*ckin’ awesome things here. I’m very glad to see your article. Thanks a lot and i am looking forward to contact you. Will you please drop me a mail?
I together with my friends were found to be looking at the great information found on your web blog and so at once came up with a horrible feeling I never expressed respect to the site owner for those techniques. The young men appeared to be so very interested to study all of them and already have unquestionably been using those things. We appreciate you genuinely considerably thoughtful and for deciding upon this kind of superb issues most people are really desirous to learn about. Our sincere apologies for not expressing appreciation to earlier.
Hello there, You have done an excellent job. I’ll certainly digg it and personally recommend to my friends. I am confident they will be benefited from this web site.
Just a smiling visitant here to share the love (:, btw great pattern.
I was more than happy to seek out this net-site.I wished to thanks for your time for this excellent read!! I definitely having fun with every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to take a look at new stuff you blog post.
Thank you for all of your efforts on this web page. My aunt enjoys getting into investigations and it’s really simple to grasp why. I learn all relating to the powerful tactic you create both interesting and useful suggestions by means of the website and therefore invigorate response from some others about this matter so our own daughter is actually discovering a whole lot. Take advantage of the rest of the new year. Your carrying out a tremendous job.
A powerful share, I simply given this onto a colleague who was doing just a little analysis on this. And he in truth bought me breakfast as a result of I discovered it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading extra on this topic. If potential, as you develop into expertise, would you thoughts updating your weblog with extra particulars? It is highly useful for me. Massive thumb up for this blog post!
I am often to blogging and i really recognize your content. The article has actually peaks my interest. I am going to bookmark your website and hold checking for brand spanking new information.
I have realized that online diploma is getting common because attaining your degree online has turned into a popular choice for many people. A lot of people have certainly not had an opportunity to attend a normal college or university yet seek the elevated earning potential and a better job that a Bachelor’s Degree gives. Still other folks might have a diploma in one course but would choose to pursue one thing they now develop an interest in.
Thanks for your publication. What I want to point out is that when looking for a good online electronics retail outlet, look for a web-site with entire information on critical factors such as the privacy statement, basic safety details, payment guidelines, and other terms in addition to policies. Usually take time to see the help plus FAQ sections to get a much better idea of how a shop will work, what they are able to do for you, and ways in which you can make the most of the features.
Hello! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay. I’m undoubtedly enjoying your blog and look forward to new posts.
You made some first rate factors there. I looked on the internet for the problem and found most people will go along with with your website.
Hi would you mind stating which blog platform you’re working with? I’m looking to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a tough time selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something unique. P.S Apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!
Another thing I have noticed is for many people, a bad credit score is the response to circumstances above their control. Such as they may are already saddled with illness and because of this they have more bills for collections. Maybe it’s due to a job loss or maybe the inability to go to work. Sometimes divorce proceedings can really send the budget in the wrong direction. Thanks for sharing your thinking on this site.
I am very happy to read this. This is the kind of manual that needs to be given and not the accidental misinformation that’s at the other blogs. Appreciate your sharing this best doc.
I discovered your blog web site on google and test a few of your early posts. Continue to keep up the excellent operate. I just extra up your RSS feed to my MSN Information Reader. Searching for ahead to studying more from you afterward!…
It’s exhausting to seek out knowledgeable individuals on this topic, but you sound like you know what you’re speaking about! Thanks
I’d need to examine with you here. Which isn’t one thing I often do! I take pleasure in reading a publish that can make individuals think. Additionally, thanks for permitting me to remark!
I enjoy what you guys are usually up too. This sort of clever work and coverage! Keep up the wonderful works guys I’ve incorporated you guys to blogroll.
Howdy! Would you mind if I share your blog with my twitter group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy your content. Please let me know. Thank you
I and also my guys ended up reading through the nice recommendations from your web page and then at once I had a terrible feeling I had not thanked you for those tips. Those people were definitely as a result stimulated to study them and have in effect actually been having fun with those things. Appreciation for simply being indeed thoughtful and also for considering variety of exceptional information most people are really eager to understand about. My honest regret for not saying thanks to you earlier.
I was just looking for this information for some time. After 6 hours of continuous Googleing, finally I got it in your site. I wonder what is the lack of Google strategy that do not rank this kind of informative sites in top of the list. Usually the top sites are full of garbage.
There may be noticeably a bundle to know about this. I assume you made sure good points in features also.
Usually I do not learn article on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very compelled me to try and do it! Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thank you, very great post.
Private proxies not to mention best prices: 50 price reduction, totally free proxies along with marketing promotions – exclusively at DreamProxies.com
you are in reality a just right webmaster. The website loading pace is amazing. It sort of feels that you are doing any unique trick. Furthermore, The contents are masterwork. you have performed a excellent activity in this subject!
What i do not understood is actually how you’re not actually much more well-liked than you may be now. You’re so intelligent. You realize therefore significantly relating to this subject, produced me personally consider it from so many varied angles. Its like women and men aren’t fascinated unless it is one thing to accomplish with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. Always maintain it up!
wohh precisely what I was searching for, thanks for posting.
One thing I want to say is the fact that car insurance canceling is a horrible experience and if you are doing the best things like a driver you simply won’t get one. Some individuals do have the notice that they’ve been officially dropped by their particular insurance company and many have to struggle to get extra insurance after having a cancellation. Affordable auto insurance rates are usually hard to get after the cancellation. Having the main reasons for auto insurance cancellation can help owners prevent burning off one of the most significant privileges obtainable. Thanks for the ideas shared via your blog.
Hi there! Someone in my Myspace group shared this website with us so I came to take a look. I’m definitely loving the information. I’m book-marking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Exceptional blog and wonderful style and design.
הוא הלך לבקר אבל פתאום הוא ראה איז כוסית האמא וזיין אותה חזקשירותי ליווי במרכז
I’ve been exploring for a little bit for any high quality articles or blog posts on this sort of area . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this website. Reading this information So i am happy to convey that I have a very good uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed. I most certainly will make certain to do not forget this website and give it a glance regularly.
I was looking through some of your articles on this internet site and I think this site is real instructive! Keep posting.