SNL Transcripts: Bernie Mac: 04/05/03


Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

April 5th, 2003

Bernie Mac

Good Charlotte


  • A Message From The President Of The United States

    President George W. Bush (Chris Parnell) addresses the situation in Iraq.

    Recurring Characters: President George W. Bush.

  • Bernie Mac’s Monologue

    Mac jokes about looking out for suspicious behavior.

  • Boston Teens

    At ballgame, Sully (Jimmy Fallon) & Denise (Rachel Dratch) try to sneak beer.

    Recurring Characters: Pat Sullivan, Denise Mc, Frank.

  • Brain Busters

    White contestants (Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz) don’t know Black Trivia.

  • Hot Sauce Carry Case

    Black partygoers (Maya Rudolph, Mac) can’t enjoy burgers without hot sauce.

  • The Pianist

    Black guys (Mac, Tracy Morgan) talk while watching “The Pianist”.

  • Good Charlotte performs “Anthem”

  • Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

    Embedded newscaster Gene Shalit (Horatio Sanz) makes bad puns in Iraq.

    Drunk Girl (Jeff Richards) gabs about her spring Break trip.

    U.S. Amen (Will Forte, Chris Parnell) sing of boycott choices.

    Recurring Characters: Gene Shalit.

  • The Four Stooges

    Slapping Rib-Eye (Mac) induces higher form of violence for the trio.

  • No Smoking

    Smokers (Mac, Amy Poehler, Jimmy Fallon) can’t keep occupied indoors.

  • Second Time Around

    Glenda Goodwin’s (Maya Rudolph) ex-husband (Mac) signs papers.

    Recurring Characters: Glenda Goodwin, Renada Wang.

  • Swiffer Sleepers

    (Rerun) See: 10/12/02.

  • Saddam’s Bunker

    Saddam Hussein’s (Horatio Sanz) guards try to trick him into defeat.

    Recurring Characters: Saddam Hussein.

  • Good Charlotte performs “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous”

  • Don Banks’ King of “Comedy” Suits

    Don Banks (Mac) dresses you in style to do stand-up.

  • Goodnights

    SNL Transcripts

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    Author: Don Roy King

    Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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