Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 28: Episode 16
Don Banks Kings of “Comedy” Suits
Don Banks…Bernie Mac
Rushion Brown….Dean Edwards
[Opens with Don Bank’s clothing store. Don is a big black man wearing a colorful suit and hat.]
Don Banks: Hey, how you doing? I’m Don Banks. Are you a black comic in search of a perfect suit? Then come see Don Banks The King of “Comedy” Suits. Are you looking for a double-breasted pinstripe sleeveless size 54? [photo of Cedric the Entertainer wearing it] Cause I got one. How about a classic Eddie Murphy leather 20-zipper ensemble? I got it in “Delirious” red[photo of Murphy’s red 20 zipper jacket] and I got it in “Raw” purple.[photo of Murphy wearing the ridiculous jacket]. I got Simbad’s genie pants.[holds up the pants] I got ’em 3 for $20. I got Martin Lawrence’s undershorts. [photo of Martin Lawrence running in his undies down the street] For when you go crazy. I got Bill Cosby imitation sweaters. They usually cost up to $500 but if you like polyester I can get it for you for $28. Let me tell you something, are you the next King of Comedy? Well, dress like one dammit! I got something from the Steve Harvey collection. We got Steve Harvey mustard colored suits. [photos of Steve Harvey’s nauseating yellow suits] Fresh yellow mustard, Dijon mustard, Honey mustard, Grey poupon mustard. Don Banks offers the largest collection of eggplant and mustard color this side of St.Louis. So if you want your suits, if you got em in buttons. I got 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 buttons. I got the suit jackets that come all the way down to your knees. So let the people know, I got TV money. I can afford enough fabric for a long-ass coat. Don’t take my word. This is one of the biggest names in the business![Black guy in wild red suit] [Rushion Brown. Talent Booker for BET’s “Comic View”]
Rushion Brown: Oh, man! Before I let comics on my show I send them to Don Banks! He dresses all the comedy kings! Ricky Smiley [photo of Ricky in loud get up] Bruce Bruce [Bruce in complicated suit] Don D.C. Curry [Don in leather suit] Shucky Ducky![photo of Shucky horrendous suit]
Rushion and Don: Quack! Quack!
Rushion Brown: Kat ‘N Da’ Hat[Kat in ridiculous suit and hat] Kool Bubba Ice![photo of Kool in stupid ass suit] Don Banks is the most trusted name in afro-comedic apparel. We love you Don! [shakes hands with Don]
Don Banks: Tell you right, baby. Don Banks King of the “Comedy” Suits. If you want to be a black stand-up or just dress like one.[white guy in sleeveless jacket and white Kangol]
Wigger: I just want to dress like one. Thanks Don Banks!
Don Banks: Be down or be dead.
Announcer: Don Banks Kings of “Comedy” Suits. 1321 Walnut Street, Philadelphia. The first King of Comedy is property of Broadway Video and used without permission.[cheers and applause] [fade]
Submitted by: Waldo San Miguel