SNL Transcripts: Ray Romano: 04/12/03

Air Date:


Musical Guest:

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April 12th, 2003

Ray Romano



  • A Message From Saddam Hussein

    In pre-recorded message, Hussein (Horatio Sanz) insists he’s broadcasting live.

    Recurring Characters: Saddam Hussein.

  • Ray Romano’s Monologue

    Romano performs stand-up about adult movies, his twins, and childhood fantasies.

  • What’s The Rush

    Virgins (Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler) interview bonin’ expert (Romano).

  • Wake Up Wakefield

    Sheldon’s (Rachel Dratch) dad (Romano) visits for Career Day.

    Recurring Characters: Megan, Sheldon, Mr. Banglion.

  • Zwan performs “Lyric”

  • Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

    NCAA pool winner Seth Meyers rubs his dollars in Jimmy and Tina’s faces.

    Minister of Information (Darrell Hammond) lies.

  • Rialto Grande

    Buddy Mills (Chris Kattan) performs with lackluster comedian (Romano).

    Recurring Characters: Buddy Mills.

  • CNN Newsbreak

    Aaron Brown (Darrell Hammond) discusses previous sketch, waits for next one.

  • Phone Booth

    Walter (Romano) is tortured mentally by phone booth sniper.

  • Access Hollywood

    New co-anchor Chet Harper (Romano) annoys Nancy (Amy Poehler).

    Recurring Characters: Pat O’Brien, Chet Harper.

  • Zwan performs “Settle Down”

  • Club Traxx

    Sleazy Iraqi singer (Romano) is new pop sensation.

    Recurring Characters: Beertje Van Beers, Leonard.

  • Uday Hussein For President

    Saddam’s idiot son Uday Hussein (Fred Armisen) holds American qualities.

  • Goodnights

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