SNL Transcripts: Ray Romano: 04/12/03


Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

April 12th, 2003

Ray Romano



  • A Message From Saddam Hussein

    In pre-recorded message, Hussein (Horatio Sanz) insists he’s broadcasting live.

    Recurring Characters: Saddam Hussein.

  • Ray Romano’s Monologue

    Romano performs stand-up about adult movies, his twins, and childhood fantasies.

  • What’s The Rush

    Virgins (Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler) interview bonin’ expert (Romano).

  • Wake Up Wakefield

    Sheldon’s (Rachel Dratch) dad (Romano) visits for Career Day.

    Recurring Characters: Megan, Sheldon, Mr. Banglion.

  • Zwan performs “Lyric”

  • Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

    NCAA pool winner Seth Meyers rubs his dollars in Jimmy and Tina’s faces.

    Minister of Information (Darrell Hammond) lies.

  • Rialto Grande

    Buddy Mills (Chris Kattan) performs with lackluster comedian (Romano).

    Recurring Characters: Buddy Mills.

  • CNN Newsbreak

    Aaron Brown (Darrell Hammond) discusses previous sketch, waits for next one.

  • Phone Booth

    Walter (Romano) is tortured mentally by phone booth sniper.

  • Access Hollywood

    New co-anchor Chet Harper (Romano) annoys Nancy (Amy Poehler).

    Recurring Characters: Pat O’Brien, Chet Harper.

  • Zwan performs “Settle Down”

  • Club Traxx

    Sleazy Iraqi singer (Romano) is new pop sensation.

    Recurring Characters: Beertje Van Beers, Leonard.

  • Uday Hussein For President

    Saddam’s idiot son Uday Hussein (Fred Armisen) holds American qualities.

  • Goodnights

    SNL Transcripts

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    Author: Don Roy King

    Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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