CNN Newsbreak


02q: Ray Romano / Zwan

CNN Newsbreak

Aaron Brown…..Darrell Hammond
…..Chris Kattan

[ dissolve onto Aaron Brown at the CNN newsdesk, as the latest news scrolls across the bottom of the screen: ]

Scroll: “All-Night Vegas wraps, laughter heard.

Scroll: Whereabouts of Tracy Morgan remain unknown, systematic searh of area topless bars yield no results.

Scroll: Preliminary reports indicate that Horatio Sanz has commenced ninth beer of evening, tenth expected shortly.

Scroll: Sanz: “Hey, lay off of me, man.”

Scroll: SNL rookie writer James Eagan: “Just really excited to be part of it all.”

[ scroll repeats throughout the mini-broadcast ]

Aaron Brown: Um.. good evening, um.. I’m Aaron Brown. And I.. I’ve been talking for.. a long time. A long.. long time.. For those of you who are just joining our coverage, the top story out of Studio 8-H here in New York is that the All-Night Vegas sketch has wrapped. Which is to say that it has reached its inevitable.. conclusion. The next sketch: funny, enlightening, entertaining.. it should be starting any minute now. But, uh.. as of yet, we don’t seem to be quite ready. I, uh.. apologize for the delay. It’s 12:26 Eastern Standard Time, or 12:26 Studio 8-H.. Daylight Time. [ clears throat ] That was, of course, the inimitable, uh.. Chris Karttan, the man who has.. provided us with so much, uh.. joy. Over the years.. revisiting the role of down-on-his-luck Las Vegas comedian Buddy Mills. A man who, uh.. is faced with a whole.. [ laughing ] ..a whole host of problems! Stemming from his, uh.. flatering career.. [ laughs again ] ..his, uh.. difficult marriage.. his ailing prostate, and.. [ laughing ] And the lsit goes on!

I’m getting word that we’re just moments away from the next sketch, but we’re not quite there yet. These great cast members are, of course, under a tremendous amount of stress. And we’re going to go now to Chris Kattan, live, for.. an insider’s perspective.. on that last sketch. And, Chris, are you there?

[ show split screen on Aaron on one side, and Chris Kattan, still in costume, on the other side ]

Aaron Brown: [ coughs ] Chris? [ Chris mumbles to himself on his side ] Okay. Unfortunately, there seems to be some audio problems.. with Chris’ audio. We’re going to be working on that situation, and we’re gonna.. okay. I’m now getting word the next sketch is ready, and I believe this is a parody of a commercial for something called the, uh.. [ receiving communication in his earpiece ] Oh.. okay.. it’s.. an actual commercial. Alright, then, can I just take a little break, then? It’d be all right if I just- No? No break? Okay, then.. we’re gonna be.. we’ll be back right.. after this.

[ cut to bumper montage, fade to real commercials ]

SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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