SNL Transcripts: Dan Aykroyd: 05/17/03



 Saturday Night Live Transcripts


  Season 28: Episode 20


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Air Date:

Host:

Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

Cameos:


May 17th, 2003

Dan Aykroyd

Beyonce

None

Jim Belushi

Kip King

John Goodman

Jay-Z
HardballSummary: Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) mocks potential Democratic nominees.

Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Andrew Card, Al Sharpton.

Transcript

Montage

Dan Aykroyd’s MonologueSummary: Dan Aykroyd and Jim Belushi perform their rendition of “Time Won’t Let Me.”

Transcript

Top O’ The Morning To YouSummary: William Fitzpatrick’s (Seth Meyers) dad, Patrick Fitzpatrick (Dan Aykroyd), lets his other 22 kids run amok on the set.

Recurring Characters: Patrick Fitzwilliams, William Fitzpatrick.

Transcript

Rialto GrandeSummary: Buddy Mills (Chris Kattan) shows off his son, Jerome (Kip King), and reunites with comedian Donnie “The Finger” Gabisky (Dan Aykroyd).

Recurring Characters: Rodney “The Zipper” Calzoun, Buddy Mills, Mackey, cocktail waitresses.

The FalconerSummary: Donald hangs out with a gang of bikers while Falconer Ken Mortimer (Will Forte) sinks in quicksand.

Transcript

TV FunhouseSummary: In a Robert Smigel cartoon, Ben Affleck buys “Cokee, the Most Expensive Dog in the World” as a present for J-Lo.

Transcript

Donatella Versace Backyard BarbequeSummary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) welcomes guests to her backyard barbecue.

Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Anna Nicole Smith, David Letterman.

Beyonce & Jay-Z performs “Crazy In Love”

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Drunk Girl (Jeff Richards) gets a tan while laying across the Weekend Update desk. Chris Kattan performs a terrible re-eneactment of his recurring characters.

Recurring Characters: Drunk Girl.

Transcript

Astronaut JonesSummary: Astronaut Jones (Tracy Morgan) and his Chief Science Officer (Dan Aykroyd) encounter a sexy alien (Maya Rudolph) on Venus.

Recurring Characters: Astronaut Jones.

Transcript

La Cuisina CaninaSummary: Dogs enjoy the ambience of a stylish restaurant.

Transcript

Beyonce performs “Dangerously In Love”

Dr. Deacon’s Haunch Crack PowderSummary: The trusted voice of Sam Elliot (Dan Aykroyd) makes even butt powder desirable.

Transcript

GoodnightsTranscript

Dress Rehearsal Cuts

106 & Park Top 10 LiveSummary: Tiny rapper Baby K (Jeff Richards) tells A.J. (Dean Edwards) his upcoming duet with Christina Aguilera (Maya Rudolph).

Recurring Characters: A.J., Baby K, Christina Aguilera.

The Leather ManRecurring Characters: The Leather Man, Choo Choo.

Fred Garvin Male Prostitute

My Big Thick Novel

Summer’s Greetings From Saturday Night LiveSummary: One final version of the happy Christmas ditty performed by Horatio Sanz, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Kattan, and Tracy Morgan.

SNL Transcripts

Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King is directing his fourteenth season of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him nine Emmys and thirteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for thirteen DGA Awards and won in 2014, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019. Mr. King is also the creative director of Broadway Worldwide which brings theatrical events to theaters. The company has produced Smokey Joe’s Café; Putting It Together with Carol Burnett; Jekyll & Hyde; and Memphis, all directed by Mr. King. He completed the screen capture of Broadway's Romeo & Juliet in 2013. - LinkedIn

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