October 11th, 2003
HardballSummary: Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) discusses the CIA leak in the White House.
Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter.
Justin Timberlake’s MonologueSummary: One of Justin Timberlake’s biggest fans turns out to be a middle-aged man (Steve Higgins).
Bio: Justin Timberlake (1981-) is a former vocalist for *NSync and the former boyfriend of Britney Spears. He began his solo career in 2002.
Justin Timberlake performs “Rock Your Body”
Punk’d: Barely LegalSummary: Ashton Kutcher’s (Justin Timberlake) latest pranks have illegal results.
Note: Justin Timberlake was “Punk’d” by Ashton Kutcher on the show’s premiere episodewhen he was fooled into thinking the IRS was seizing his property for not paying his taxes.
CNN Breaking NewsSummary: Arnold Schwarzenegger (Darrell Hammond) admits he doesn’t know what he’s doing.
Recurring Characters: Arnold Scwarzenegger.
A Message From Nich Lachey & Jessica SimpsonSummary: Nick Lachey (Jimmy Fallon) rolls his eyes as Jessica Simpson (Justin Timberlake) tries to dispute rumors of her stupidity.
Omletteville vs. Benny’sSummary: Dressed in silly food costumes, Benny’s bacon-and-eggs-clad mascot (Chris Parnell) competes in a vocal feud with Omletteville’s omelette-clad mascot (Justin Timberlake).
Note: In the dress rehearsal version, the sketch ends with a strip club owner (Fred Armisen) offers the two mascots jobs dancing in front of his establishment.
DirectTVSummary: Gary Busey (Jeff Richards) expresses how much he loves his DirectTV.
Recurring Characters: Gary Busey.
Boston TeensSummary: Denise (Rachel Dratch) treats Sully (Jimmy Fallon) to an elegant birthday dinner.
Recurring Characters: Sully, Denise, Frank.
Justin Timberlake performs “Senorita”
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeyTranscript
The Sharon Osborne ShowSummary: Sharon (Amy Poehler) and Ozzy Osbourne (Horatio Sanz) creep out their guests.
Recurring Characters: Sharon Osborne, Ozzy Osborne, Michael Bolton.
Rainbow ConnectionSummary: Justin Timberlake’s attempt at a duet with Kermit the Frog morphs into an all-out brawl with the puppeteer (Will Forte).
Carl Weathers For GovernorSummary: Carl Weathers announces his bid for governor, hoping such a victory could mean a “Predator” trifecta.
Justin’s Dressing RoomSummary: Despite her nonchalence, Amy Poehler is excited to visit Justin Timberlake’s dressing room.
Justin Timberlake performs “Cry Me A River”
The Barry Gibb Talk ShowSummary: Brothers Barry (Jimmy Fallon) & Robin Gibb (Justin Timberlake) interview politicians.
Recurring Characters: Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb.