Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 29: Episode 2
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:Cameos:
October 11th, 2003
Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake
None
Carl Weathers
HardballSummary: Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) discusses the CIA leak in the White House.
Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Ann Coulter.
Transcript
Montage
Justin Timberlake’s MonologueSummary: One of Justin Timberlake’s biggest fans turns out to be a middle-aged man (Steve Higgins).
Bio: Justin Timberlake (1981-) is a former vocalist for *NSync and the former boyfriend of Britney Spears. He began his solo career in 2002.
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Justin Timberlake performs “Rock Your Body”
Punk’d: Barely LegalSummary: Ashton Kutcher’s (Justin Timberlake) latest pranks have illegal results.
Note: Justin Timberlake was “Punk’d” by Ashton Kutcher on the show’s premiere episodewhen he was fooled into thinking the IRS was seizing his property for not paying his taxes.
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CNN Breaking NewsSummary: Arnold Schwarzenegger (Darrell Hammond) admits he doesn’t know what he’s doing.
Recurring Characters: Arnold Scwarzenegger.
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A Message From Nich Lachey & Jessica SimpsonSummary: Nick Lachey (Jimmy Fallon) rolls his eyes as Jessica Simpson (Justin Timberlake) tries to dispute rumors of her stupidity.
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Omletteville vs. Benny’sSummary: Dressed in silly food costumes, Benny’s bacon-and-eggs-clad mascot (Chris Parnell) competes in a vocal feud with Omletteville’s omelette-clad mascot (Justin Timberlake).
Note: In the dress rehearsal version, the sketch ends with a strip club owner (Fred Armisen) offers the two mascots jobs dancing in front of his establishment.
DirectTVSummary: Gary Busey (Jeff Richards) expresses how much he loves his DirectTV.
Recurring Characters: Gary Busey.
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Boston TeensSummary: Denise (Rachel Dratch) treats Sully (Jimmy Fallon) to an elegant birthday dinner.
Recurring Characters: Sully, Denise, Frank.
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Justin Timberlake performs “Senorita”
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeyTranscript
The Sharon Osborne ShowSummary: Sharon (Amy Poehler) and Ozzy Osbourne (Horatio Sanz) creep out their guests.
Recurring Characters: Sharon Osborne, Ozzy Osborne, Michael Bolton.
Rainbow ConnectionSummary: Justin Timberlake’s attempt at a duet with Kermit the Frog morphs into an all-out brawl with the puppeteer (Will Forte).
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Carl Weathers For GovernorSummary: Carl Weathers announces his bid for governor, hoping such a victory could mean a “Predator” trifecta.
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Justin’s Dressing RoomSummary: Despite her nonchalence, Amy Poehler is excited to visit Justin Timberlake’s dressing room.
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Justin Timberlake performs “Cry Me A River”
The Barry Gibb Talk ShowSummary: Brothers Barry (Jimmy Fallon) & Robin Gibb (Justin Timberlake) interview politicians.
Recurring Characters: Barry Gibb, Robin Gibb.
Transcript
GoodnightsTranscript
