Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 29: Episode 2
Justin Timberlake’s Monologue
Audience Member…..Steve Higgins
Justin Timberlake: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you very much! It is so exciting to be here! I’ve watched this show since I was a wee little boy. I remember my mom would let me stay up late. That was way, way, way back in the day, when.. Molly Shannon and Chris Kattan were on the show. And now, I’m here! I’ve been touring the country all summer.. and, my favorite thing to do towards the end of my concert is.. is, uh.. actually bring somebody up from the audience, up on the stage, and then sing a song for them. So.. I thoughyt I’d start the show tonight by doing just that. Who? [ audience applauds wildly in anticipation ] So, everybody got their ticket? I’m gonna pick the, uh.. the lucky winner.. right now.. [ pulls number ] who is.. whoever is seated in Row — Seat G-14.[ camera pans across the audience, until we see a middle-aged male audience member jump excitedly from his seat clutching his ticket ]
Audience Member: Me!! G-14!! [ laughs excitedly ] G-14!!
Justin Timberlake: Okay.. My fans are usually a little younger.. and a.. different gender.
Audience Member: [ excited, laughs ]
Justin Timberlake: Let me guess. You have a daughter.
Audience Member: Yes, I do! Yes, I do! [ laughs ] She’s a real — she’s a really big fan of yours. And she plays your music so much, you know, I.. I ended up liking it, too!
Justin Timberlake: Well, thanks. What’s your daughter’s name?
Audience Member: Anna.
Justin Timberlake: Oh. Well.. [ in the direction of the audience ] Well, hey, Anna.. maybe she would like to come down, and then I could sing a song —
Audience Member: Oh, my God, she would love to! But we only had the one ticket – she’s at home watching. [ waves at the camera ] Hey, Anna!
Justin Timberlake: Great. Okay. Well, uh.. what song do you want me to sing?
Audience Member: Whatever you usually sing would be nice, you know?
Justin Timberlake: I usually sing “Take It From Here”.
Audience Member: Thank you! Yes!
Justin Timberlake: Uh.. I actually give the girl a rose, too..
Audience Member: [ laughs ]
Justin Timberlake: Ready?
Audience Member: Ready. [ excited ]
Justin Timberlake: [ begins to sing an acoustic version of “Take It From Here”, then quickly pulls the plug when he sees the Audience Member getting too into it ] Okay, you know what? I can’t do this! I can’t sing this song to you, dude! I’ll tell you what, I’ll do a different song. What’s your favorite song to hear me sing?
Audience Member: The one you do about Britney.
Justin Timberlake: Okay, what’s your second favorite song by me?
Audience Member: How about.. “Rock Your Body”?
Justin Timberlake: “Rock Your Body”?! Great!
Audience Member: “Rock Your Body”! Come on!
Justin Timberlake: No, no, no, no – I’m goinna go over there —
Audience Member: You’re gonna go over there. Okay.
Justin Timberlake: You stay here —
Audience Member: Great! I’ll wait here!
Justin Timberlake: — and you introduce me from the stage.
Audience Member: I will introduce you, Justin!
Justin Timberlake: Okay.
Audience Member: Okay. Before.. before you go, could you do me one favor? Just sign an autograph?
Justin Timberlake: Sure.
Audience Member: [ opens his shirt ] “To Glen.”
Justin Timberlake: I don’t sign dudes’ breasts.
Audience Member: Of course you don’t.. of course you don’t.. [ closes his shirt ]
Justin Timberlake: Thanks.
Audience Member: I’ll be here; you’ll be there! [ Timberlake walks over to the musical guests stage ] Ladies and gentlemen! Singing my second favorite song in the world, “Rock Your Body” – Mr. Justin Timberlake![ camera pans over to the musica guest stage, as Timberlake and his band perform “Rock Your Body” ] [ at finish, Timberlake re-addresses the audience ]
Justin Timberlake: We’ve got a great show. I’m Justin Timberlake. Stick around, we’ll be right back!