October 18th, 2003
Kobe BryantSummary: Kobe Bryant (Finesse Mitchell) and his wife Vanessa (Maya Rudolph) argue with one another before his rape trial.
Halle Berry’s MonologueSummary: Lorne Michaels wants to see Halle Berry and Britney Spears kiss.
Bio: Named for Halle’s Department Store in her Cleveland, Ohio hometown, Halle Berry (1966-) became the first African-American woman to win an Academy Award in 2002, for “Monster’s Ball.”
GaystrogenSummary: The pill that prevents middle-aged homosexuals from losing their gay sex drive.
The Don Zimmer Sports SpectacularSummary: Don Zimmer (Horatio Sanz) is repeatedly slammed to the ground by his guests.
Recurring Characters: Bob Costas, Pete Rose.
Donatella VersaceSummary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) throws her annual Halloween party.
Note: Model played by Zachary Woodlee.
Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Elton John.
Tel-e-LinkSummary: Happy phone-line customers tout their good service using technobabble.
Quick OnesSummary: The pills office workers use to simulate the sexual experience.
Sushi BarSummary: Starkisha (Finesse Mitchell) celebrates her birthday at a sushi bar with friends.
Recurring Characters: Starkisha, Appreciante.
The Sunday National EnquirerSummary: Provides special edition fake news stories to brighten your weekend.
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Indian comic Billy Smith (Fred Armisen) tells less-than-stellar jokes. Superfan Bob Swerski (George Wendt) offers a sports commentary with his moron nephew (Horatio Sanz).
Recurring Characters: Billy Smith, Bob Swerski.
The Best of KlymaxxSummary: Klymaxx’s greatest spoken-over performances.
Tom BrokawSummary: Tom Brokaw (Chris Parnell) is persuaded to record an answering machine message for his make-up girl (Halle Berry).
Recurring Characters: Tom Brokaw.
Britney Spears performs “Everytime”
Ashford & Simpson FanSummary: A woman’s (Halle Berry) day turns brighter when she meets Ashford (Kenan Thompson) & Simpson (Maya Rudolph).
SpeedreaderSummary: A speedreader (Will Forte) quickly hits on a woman (Halle Berry) at a bar.