Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 29: Episode 7
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:
December 6th, 2003
Rev. Al Sharpton
Pink
Tracy Morgan
Paris Hilton
A Message From the President of NBC EntertainmentSummary: Because the Rev. Al Sharpton is hosting “Saturday Night Live”, NBC President Jeff Zucker (Jimmy Fallon) outlines equal-time programming for the other Democratic candidates.
Recurring Characters: Jeff Zucker.
Transcript
MontageNote: This episode didn’t air in New Hampshire, Iowa, and three other states because they hosted early presidential primaries. “The Best of Steve Martin” aired in its place, and those markets were unable to view the episode until NBC finally reran it on July 31, 2004.
Rev. Al Sharpton’s MonologueSummary: The Rev. Al Sharpton’s younger self (Tracy Morgan) criticizes his growth as a human being.
Recurring Characters: Rev. Al Sharpton.
Bio: A man of many hats, the Rev. Al Sharpton (1954-) has been a civil rights activist, a minister, a would-be politician, and a tour manager for James Brown in the 1970’s.
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Mom JeansSummary: The jeans with the shapely fit that says you’re a mom, not a woman.
Note: Repeat from 05/10/03.
Note: Originally, the commercial parody advertised itself for Mother’s Day, which has now been dubbed over to advertise itself for Christmas.
Michael Jackson on a RollercoasterSummary: Michael Jackson (Amy Poehler) rides on a roller coaster with Johnny Cochran (Rev. Al Sharpton), Elizabeth Taylor (Rachel Dratch), and a stranger (Horatio Sanz).
Recurring Characters: Michael Jackson, Johnny Cochran, Elizabeth Taylor.
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Brian Fellow’s Safari PlanetSummary: Brian Fellow (Tracy Morgan) is joined by his equally child-minded brother, Ryan Fellow (Rev. Al Sharpton).
Recurring Characters: Brian Fellow.
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Three Wise MenSummary: A cop on camelback (Jimmy Fallon) pulls over the Three Wise Men (Rev. Al Sharpton, Kenan Thompson, Tracy Morgan) for suspicious activities in the desert.
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Pink performs “Trouble”Bio: Pink (1979-) began her career as an R&B and hip-hop musician, but shifted over to pop rock in order to gain creative control over her work.
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey make fun of the cities that aren’t airing SNL tonight. Jimmy Fallon uses double entendres to interview Paris Hilton.
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StereotypesSummary: Black stereotypes are exploited for laughs in the filming of a movie in 1935.
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Reverend Al Sharpton’s Casa de SushiSummary: Even though the Rev. Al Sharpton doesn’t like sushi, he has no qualms about selling it to consumers.
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Democratic CandidatesSummary: John Edwards (Will Forte) hosts an SNL-viewing party for his fellow Democratic hopefuls.
Recurring Characters: Richard Gephardt, John Kerry, Joe Lieberman, John Edwards.
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Pink performs “God Is A D.J.”
The LaToya Jackson ShowSummary: Joe Jackson (Rev. Al Sharpton) looks down on LaToya Jackson (Maya Rudolph) and her scatterbrained life.
Recurring Characters: LaToya Jackson, Joe Jackson.
Cab RideSummary: Vasquez (Horatio Sanz) gives Rev. Al Sharpton a ride in his cab.
Recurring Characters: Vasquez.
CryogenixSummary: People have their heads frozen now, in preparation of the cures that will come in the future.
Note: 03e 11/08/03
Unearthed: Cash On EarthSummary: The late Johnny Cash (Darrell Hammond) releases his new CD box set direct from Heaven.
Recurring Characters: Johnny Cash.
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GoodnightsTranscript
