SNL Transcripts: Elijah Wood: 12/13/03


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 29: Episode 8

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

December 13th, 2003

Elijah Wood


Chris Kattan

Zachary Woodlee
HardballSummary: Chris Matthews (Darrell Hammond) launches the topic of Al Gore’s support of Howard Dean.

Recurring Characters: Chris Matthews, Joe Lieberman, Hillary Clinton.



Elijah Wood’s MonologueSummary: Gollum (Chris Kattan) visits Elijah Wood, and shows off their new TV sitcom pilot.

Bio: Elijah Wood (1981-) has become best known for his role as Frodo Baggins in the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy.


Boys ChoirSummary: Grown men (Will Forte, Jimmy Fallon, Elijah Wood) compete as members of a boys school choir.


Queer Eye For The Straight GuySummary: Santa Claus (Horatio Sanz) is given a queer makeover.

Recurring Characters: Santa Claus.


TV FunhouseSummary: In Rob Smigel’s “Fun with Real Audio”, President George W. Bush adopts the proper costuming depending on what group he’s giving a speech to.

Recurring Characters: Dave Clinger.


Wake Up WakefieldSummary: Megan’s latest crush is Jazz Times Ten’s lead trumpeter (Elijah Wood).

Recurring Characters: Megan, Sheldon, Mr. Banglion.


Jet performs “Are You Gonna Be My Girl”Bio: Jet is a garage rock band from Melbourne, Australia, consisting of members Nic Cester (guitar and lead vocals), Chris Cester (drums), Cameron Muncey (guitar and vocals), and Mark Wilson (bass).

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: John Mayer (Jimmy Fallon) sings unintelligible holiday lyrics. Whitney Houston (Maya Rudolph) and her daughter Bobbi (Kenan Thompson) sing a duet.


Versace Egg NogSummary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) introduces her new egg nog to the masses.

Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Rosie O’Donnell.


Howard Dean For President 2004Summary: Al Gore (Darrell Hammond) extensively explains his support for Howard Dean (Jeff Richards).

Recurring Characters: Al Gore, Howard Dean.


Rialto GrandeSummary: A young comedian (Elijah Wood) joins Buddy Mills (Chris Kattan) onstage.

Recurring Characters: Buddy Mills, Mackey.


Jet performs “Look What You’ve Done”


SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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