Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 29: Episode 13
February 7th, 2004
NightlineSummary: Ted Koppell (Darrell Hammond) bypasses important issues to talk about Janet Jackson’s exposed breast at the Super Bowl.
Recurring Characters: Ted Koppel, Michael Jackson.
MontageNote: Don Pardo accidentally introduces Chris Parnell as Chris Kattan, then quickly corrects himself. Pardo also introduces Maya Rudolph as Maria.
Megan Mullally’s MonologueSummary: Despite being surrounded by an all-gay chorus, Megan Mullally tries to show she’s about much more than her loyal gay following.
Bio: For her performance on “Will and Grace”, Megan Mullally (1958-) has won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series and three Screen Actors Guild Awards. She revealed herself as a bisexual in a 1999 interview.
Celebrity Poker ShowdownSummary: Celebrities like Carrot Top (Seth Meyers) and Kevin Pollack (Jimmy Fallon) make poker excruciating to watch.
Recurring Characters: Carrot Top, Geraldo Rivera, Gene Shalit.
Note: This sketch was cut from the dress rehearsal of the Elijah Wood episode.
Huggies ThongSummary: Less padding, but not as effective as regular diapers.
Note: Repeat from 10/04/03.
Baby BoyfriendSummary: A grown man (Seth Meyers) lives like a child again when he visits his mom’s (Megan Mullally) house, much to the discomfort of his girlfriend (Amy Poehler).
Golden Globe AwardsSummary: Megan Mullally makes faces from the audience as Sharon Stone (Amy Poehler) presents an award.
Oprahs Favorite ThingsSummary: The studio audience goes nuts when Oprah (Maya Rudolph) gives lavish gifts away.
Recurring Characters: Oprah Winfrey.
The CabdriverSummary: A cabdriver (Megan Mullally) makes a big deal about welcoming black people into her cab.
Clay Aiken performs “Invisible”Bio: Clay Aiken (1978-) was the second runner-up on Fox’s “American Idol”, and the first of their contestants to appear on “Saturday Night Live.”
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Indian comic Billy Smith (Fred Armisen) tells more lost-in-translation jokes. Ready for her exit from “20/20”, Barbara Walters (Rachel Dratch) interviews herself.
Recurring Characters: Billy Smith, Barbara Walters.
The Wizard Of OzSummary: Not only has Dorothy (Amy Poehler) killed the Bad Witch, but some innocent Munchkins as well.
Zinger vs. SlamSummary: Scientists Dave “Zing” Clinger (Seth Meyers) verbally spars with ex-girlfriend Debbie “Slam” Slamowski (Megan Mullally).
Clay Aiken performs “The Way”
Musical RelativesSummary: Leon Warwick (Kenan Thompson) and Connie Raitt (Megan Mullally) try to enter the Grammy Awards ceremony.