Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Season 29: Episode 12
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Air Date:Host:Musical Guest:Special Guests:
February 14th, 2004
Drew Barrymore
Kelis
None
Gore’s EndorsementSummary: John Kerry (Seth Meyers) has no interest in Al Gore’s (Darrell Hammond) support.
Recurring Characters: Al Gore, John Kerry.
Transcript
Montage
Drew Barrymore’s MonologueSummary: Drew Barrymore’s former freak-show movie co-stars join her on-stage.
Also Hosted: 82g, 98p, 01c.
Transcript
A Very Special Valentine’s VersaceSummary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) scuffles with Courtney Love (Drew Barrymore).
Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Elton John, Madonna, Courtney Love.
Transcript
Jarret’s RoomSummary: Jarret (Jimmy Fallon) dreams about romance with Gobi’s (Horatio Sanz) sister (Drew Barrymore).
Recurring Characters: Jarret, Gobi, DJ Jonathon Feinstein.
Transcript
Access HollywoodSummary: Charlize Theron (Drew Barrymore) film clips display various Oscar-begging performances.
Recurring Characters: Pat O’Brien.
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OctaneSummary: The vehicular action-drama film preview displays fake special effects.
Kelis performs “Milkshake”Bio: Singer/songwriter Kelis (1980-) finally found mainstream success with the release of her current album.
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Live from prison, Diana Ross (Maya Rudolph) can’t seem to adjust.
Recurring Characters: Diana Ross.
Note: The final “I” was missing from the word “Availability” on the graphic during the morning after pill joke.
Transcript
Mike’s Bar, 1968Summary: John Kerry (Seth Meyers), George W. Bush (Will Forte), Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) and Hillary Rodham (Drew Barrymore) meet at a bar in the late 60’s.
Recurring Characters: John Kerry, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Hillary Rodham.
Note: Will Forte is now the third post-Ferrell cast member to portray President George W. Bush; the second this season alone.
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Larry King LiveSummary: Larry King (Jimmy Fallon) interviews Anna Nicole Smith (Drew Barrymore) following her extreme weight loss.
Recurring Characters: Larry King, Anna Nicole Smith.
Spy GlassSummary: More celebrity gossip with Ian Gerrard (Seth Meyers) and Zoe Anderton (Amy Poehler).
Recurring Characters: Ian Gerrard, Zoe Anderton, Pat O’Brien.
The World of Scott WainioSummary: Scott Wainio takes to the streets to interview people with no microphone.
The White StripesSummary: Jack (Jimmy Fallon) and Meg White (Drew Barrymore) sing their theme song, but ultimately don’t save the day.
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Prince ShowSummary: Prince (Fred Armisen) displays his eccentricities while hosting talk show with Beyonce (Maya Rudolph).
Recurring Characters: Prince, Beyonce.
Transcript
GoodnightsTranscript
