SNL Transcripts: Drew Barrymore: 02/14/04


 Saturday Night Live Transcripts

  Season 29: Episode 12

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Air Date:


Musical Guest:

Special Guests:

February 14th, 2004

Drew Barrymore


Gore’s EndorsementSummary: John Kerry (Seth Meyers) has no interest in Al Gore’s (Darrell Hammond) support.

Recurring Characters: Al Gore, John Kerry.



Drew Barrymore’s MonologueSummary: Drew Barrymore’s former freak-show movie co-stars join her on-stage.

Also Hosted: 82g, 98p, 01c.


A Very Special Valentine’s VersaceSummary: Donatella Versace (Maya Rudolph) scuffles with Courtney Love (Drew Barrymore).

Recurring Characters: Donatella Versace, Elton John, Madonna, Courtney Love.


Jarret’s RoomSummary: Jarret (Jimmy Fallon) dreams about romance with Gobi’s (Horatio Sanz) sister (Drew Barrymore).

Recurring Characters: Jarret, Gobi, DJ Jonathon Feinstein.


Access HollywoodSummary: Charlize Theron (Drew Barrymore) film clips display various Oscar-begging performances.

Recurring Characters: Pat O’Brien.


OctaneSummary: The vehicular action-drama film preview displays fake special effects.

Kelis performs “Milkshake”Bio: Singer/songwriter Kelis (1980-) finally found mainstream success with the release of her current album.

Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon & Tina FeySummary: Live from prison, Diana Ross (Maya Rudolph) can’t seem to adjust.

Recurring Characters: Diana Ross.

Note: The final “I” was missing from the word “Availability” on the graphic during the morning after pill joke.


Mike’s Bar, 1968Summary: John Kerry (Seth Meyers), George W. Bush (Will Forte), Bill Clinton (Darrell Hammond) and Hillary Rodham (Drew Barrymore) meet at a bar in the late 60’s.

Recurring Characters: John Kerry, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Hillary Rodham.

Note: Will Forte is now the third post-Ferrell cast member to portray President George W. Bush; the second this season alone.


Larry King LiveSummary: Larry King (Jimmy Fallon) interviews Anna Nicole Smith (Drew Barrymore) following her extreme weight loss.

Recurring Characters: Larry King, Anna Nicole Smith.

Spy GlassSummary: More celebrity gossip with Ian Gerrard (Seth Meyers) and Zoe Anderton (Amy Poehler).

Recurring Characters: Ian Gerrard, Zoe Anderton, Pat O’Brien.

The World of Scott WainioSummary: Scott Wainio takes to the streets to interview people with no microphone.

The White StripesSummary: Jack (Jimmy Fallon) and Meg White (Drew Barrymore) sing their theme song, but ultimately don’t save the day.


Prince ShowSummary: Prince (Fred Armisen) displays his eccentricities while hosting talk show with Beyonce (Maya Rudolph).

Recurring Characters: Prince, Beyonce.



SNL Transcripts

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Author: Don Roy King

Don Roy King has directed fourteen seasons of Saturday Night Live. That work has earned him ten Emmys and fourteen nominations. Additionally, he has been nominated for fifteen DGA Awards and won in 2013, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020.

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